SAN DIEGO, CA – Apple is set to give its popular iPhone a facelift. On March 17th the company will premiere the new iPhone 3.0 operating system and a host of new applications.
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GRIM REAPER JUST GLAD TO BE PART OF THE TEAM
PHILADELPHIA – The angel of death reports that he is happy to be doing his part in the ongoing process of devouring human souls.
GRASS MUD HORSE: WHAT IS IT?!
CHENGDU – Word has spread of the mythical creature, the “grass mud horse”, which is rumored to live in the Chinese desert. But what is it truly?
BRISTOL PALIN, LEVI JOHNSTON SPLIT
FORT MYERS, FL – Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, daughter of Governor Sarah Palin, have broken up. Now Bristol has been spotted with notorious ex-con Manigator.
VAMPIRE SKULL FOUND
VENICE – An archaeologist excavating mass graves of plague victims in Venice has discovered the skull of an alleged vampire!
BERNARD MADOFF PLEADS GUILTY
NEW YORK, NY – Bernard Madoff will plead guilty to 11 charges on Thursday, but only with a very particular plea bargain.
OBAMA APPOINTEE CURSE
WASHINGTON, DC – Charles Freeman has withdrawn from consideration as National Intelligence Chair. Another appointee is claimed by the Obama Curse.
UFO SPOTTED NEAR ASTEROID 2009 DD 45
ROME – An Italian researcher recorded footage of the asteroid 2009 DD 45 that recently passed by, and discovered a UFO near it!
WEEKLY WORLD NEWS PREDICTED RECESSION
Who warned of the current economic crisis? Weekly World News did! Check out the classic cover below.
LIL’ KIM’S DANCING WITH THE STARS SECRET
LOS ANGELES, CA – Lil’ Kim may be performing on “Dancing with the Stars” with a human, but insiders revealed that Kim spent weeks practicing with a mutant dancer!