LAS VEGAS - Tragedy struck Kim Kardashian last night on a private flight from New Jersey to Las Vegas. Her left butt cheek exploded.
Many have debated for years whether Kardashian has had butt implants or not, but the proof was in the rupturing last night when Kim’s pilot took the Gulfstream 5 above 38,000 feet to avoid turbulence. When implants fly above this altitude they have been known to rupture, and that’s exactly what happened to Kardashian. As she reached for her third deep-fried Oreo cookie, she felt a “bang” in her butt. She was sitting next to the new man in her life, Miles Austin, the 25-year-old Dallas wide receiver (whose been doing just that with Kim).
The implant burst and her cheek immediately began to sag. Pilots cleared the runway for an emergency landing at North Las Vegas Airport. Kim was taken to Sunrise Hospital on Maryland Parkway. Her sisters, Khloe and Kourtney and mother, Kris, all rushed to the hospital to be with Kim. Luckily they were all nearby at their new boutique at the Mirage, Kardashian Khaos.
There almost was total chaos at the hospital when the staff was unable to find a female plastic surgeon whose first name began with the letter “K” (as Kris demanded) but soon Dr. Karen Engeman showed up and replaced Kim’s left cheek implant. “We’ve had a few cases like this before. It’s not always safe to fly with her butt filled with silicone, but Kim’s a brave woman.” Austin was the first one to slap Kim’s new left cheek. “It felt good.” He said.
Kim is resting at her Las Vegas home today and is expected to make a “full” recovery. Austin, on the other hand, feels that this tragic accident was not due to Implant Altitude Syndrome (IAS), but instead was something more nefarious. “Reggie Bush is behind this.” Austin said. “He wants to get back at Kim for dumping him, but it’s not gonna work. She’s mine now. All of her. Both cheeks.” When WWN asked Austin how he thinks Bush planted the butt IED, Austin said, “Reggie’s always been a sneaking guy. Remember the Bush Push? Well, somehow he snuck into the hotel we were staying at in New Jersey, knocked us out with rufies or something and then injected some explosive serum into her left butt cheek. They he paid off the pilots and had them fly too high. The man is sick jealous!”
When Bush was asked about Austin’s accusations he said, “What? He better watch his mouth. I’ll blow his ass up next!”
Doctors advise all women with butt implants to speak with their plastic surgeon before boarding another plane. “You don’t want to be in that mile-high club,” Dr. John Malley said.
Even with this explosive new information, there are STILL some who refuse to believe Kim has (or had) butt implants. In an effort to help our readers decide for themselves, we’ve included some pictures for you to examine. Study them carefully and let us know what you think.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
Exhibit D:
Exhibit E : Why not.
it was a "SNUKE" that did her in.
Darn you Reggie Bush!
my ass is big for my size im 5'4 125 too and im not fat but i think she got bigger implants on her boobs and it just makes her look off proportioned so everyone thinks her ass is fake, it would look more real if the rest of her was real like her cheeks she can barely smile! how sad…
ig butts are possible for small girls. Im 5' 3", 28 yrs old, hips 40", 34ddd, 125 lbs, waist 28", with no surgery and I'm white! So it can be done. So leave kim alone. As long as she feels good about herself, surgery or not, then who cares! Xoxo
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She is very beautiful, i don't mind if she has butt implants lol http://bit.ly/bangcrash
I think many of us would like to explode on her butt.
kim kardashian ": She is very beautiful : http://www.all2need.com/kim-kardashian-pictures/
[...] more entertaining than the last. [via Weekly World News] LAS VEGAS - Tragedy struck Kim Kardashian last night on a private flight from New Jersey to [...]
hahaha!!!! pity kim for the explodes
Kim is too pretty but for God sake can’t she maintain her natural beauty( though we re bound to grow old someday)instead of all this surgerys nd make ups cos sugeries only last for certain periods of time..sorry kim.
Thank you
I feel sorry 4 her…y can’t she b happy d way she is instead of being fake with all that beauty…its so sad
True, how true
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What a stupid a** artical. I mean this is the fakest thing in the world. Exhbit C…..mmmm jk jk
You forgetting MJ?
hre butt looks better than here amazone woman looking sister
wow
She is a JOKE!!!!! That’s what she get!!!! She’s a liar and the truth is out now everything about her is FAKE lolol!!!!!
its gonna be funny when she gets old and gets more rolls than a bakery .be like gene simmons and get surgry and still look as homely
Damn,I was hoping it would be her head.
This story is not true…I won’t buy sorry
Damn, she have a magical ass , i cant stop it
I love Kim and i dont think this story is true
hey kim come to Africa coz 4 us BIG asses r just on every 1 naturally…oh dia
damn i would still hit dat @$$
[...] lil’ tyrant, Kim Jong-Un, meticulously sculpted from clay with butt-implants in the image of Kim Kardashian. Talk about junk in the trunk! This is freaky, febrile fetish art—the kind reminiscent of a Goya [...]