LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man.

NEW YORK, NY- Take Bat Boy home this Halloween with a special bundle!

NEW ZEALAND – PBS reported that the rapper Tupac Shakur was sighted in New Zealand this weekend.

FRANCE – Carla Bruni is back in the news. WWN first revealed that Bruni was immortal and was far beyond your mere first lady. Stay-tuned as more will follow tomorrow!

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama held a bipartisan Health Care Summit in Washington yesterday. To keep opposing factions together he summoned the snow gods to bring a blizzard!

VANCOUVER – Apolo Ohno and Bode Miller have broken records and shocked experts with their Olympic performances. Mutating gamma radiation is suspected to have been used.

BROOKLYN, NY – Curling soars in popularity and has become the new trend among the hippest of America’s youth!

WASHINGTON D.C. – Senator Evan Bayh will not seek re-election this year. Citing an overly partisan climate in Washington he has decided to return to his home planet!

HOUSTON, TX – Debra Medina self destructs on the Glenn Beck show. Glenn Beck destructs right back.

WASHINGTON D.C. – Half of America declared a Snow Day on Wednesday. Yetis were spotted all along the east coast.