NEW YORK, NY – Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani is preparing to run for Senate in 2010, and President in 2012.

PARIS – For the second time, People Magazine awarded Johnny Depp with the coveted title. Weekly World News followed Mr. Depp for a day in the life of the world’s sexiest man.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Seen at this exclusive New Moon movie premiere was America’s Favorite Mutant and die hard Twilight fan, Bat Boy!

CHICAGO, IL – Sarah Paliln did an interview with Oprah yesterday. The two buried their hatchet and had “girl time” until the early hours of the morning.

NEW YORK, NY – Sarah Palin refused to shake the hand of Oliver Stone at a Saturday Night Live taping.

WASHINGTON, DC – Congress has begun a full scale federal inquiry into the Carrie Prejean sex tape.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama will finally give an interview to Fox News. Both he and the station are preparing for the imminent showdown.

HANOVER, NH – Steven Tyler is leaving Aerosmith. He is doing so after losing a duel with Joe Perry.

NEW YORK, NY – Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston agree to be photographed nude together. The Vatican confirms this could signal the end of times.

WASHINGTON, DC – The Health Care Bill has passed in the House of Representatives. Joseph Cao, the one Republican to vote for it, is being ostracized by his constituents.