AFTER MASSIVE HEART ATTACK, HE’S SWITCHING TO BLOODY MARYS Count Dracula has been sucking blood for hundreds of years but had a big scare last month. He was immediately admitted for an emergency quadruple bypass surgery. “When he came in it was very ‘touch-and-go’. We immediately set up a blood-infused IV and turned off all … READ MORE
THE ORIGIN Harms Whey and I have seen our fair share of unusual tales in the Weekly World News. Yet, our recent escapade in New Mexico took a most unexpected turn when we delved into the mysteries of El Cuco, the monstrous figure said to devour children. The parched landscapes of New Mexico hid many … READ MORE
In an unprecedented move, the Lone Star State has taken a quantum leap in the battle against blistering summers by announcing its conversion to the Celsius temperature scale. The decision, met with a mix of bewilderment and amusement, has left Texans both scratching their heads and grabbing for their winter coats. Governor Maverick hailed the … READ MORE
Finding Samuel The dry heat of southern Texas was an appreciated change from the Louisiana swamp. Glen and I arrived in Texas in search of the chupacabra, a reptilian beast known for its appetite for farm animals. Apparently, chupacabras don’t discriminate; they’re known to eat anything from chickens to cows. However, goats are their favorite. … READ MORE
FINDING THAT rare sWamp creature, The Rougarou! LOUISIANA — Fresh from our exciting encounter with THe Melonheads of Connecticut, we found ourselves deep in the heart of Louisiana, trudging through the swampy marshes. Our noses, however, were the first to discover a tantalizing secret: the aromatic blend of spices wafting through the trees. You wouldn’t … READ MORE
“I’M BETTING ON IT,” A SHADY PRODUCER TELLS BRICK RIVERS! Recently, the writers attempted to meet with studio and streaming heads for the first time in over three months. The well-paid CEOs dismissed all the writers’ demands but promised to pay them extra wampum. When it was pointed out that colored beads and trinkets hadn’t … READ MORE
Doing Our Research We flew to Connecticut in search of the state’s infamous Melon Heads. Understandably disturbed by our disastrous encounter in Mississippi, Glen and I decided to do our research this time. After poking around the depths of the internet, we gathered a few key details about the Melon Heads, small humanoids with disproportionately … READ MORE
Arrival in Pascagoula As relatively inexperienced teleporters, Glen and I were understandably nervous upon our arrival in Mississippi. Although we were relieved to have escaped the skunk ape and its stench, we were anxious about our journey through the magnolia state without a car. Thankfully, the skunk ape had dropped us by the side of … READ MORE
Intrepid reporters Glenn Wich and Harms Whey continue their road trip across the country. This latest from Wich — “Just a typical day for us, the New Jersey Devil just handed us a map, shampoo, and a luffa, as he teleported us to Ochopee, Florida. I’m Glen Wich, an investigative journalist, along with my fellow … READ MORE
TWO YOUNG WWN WRITERS ON THE MOVE! New York, NY – Weekly World News award-winning reporters – Glen Wich and Harms Whey – have departed our New York offices to begin their road trip across the US in search of the many cryptids in every state that inspire many Americans. Their first stop was in … READ MORE