SANTA GOT JACKED?!
He looks 500 years younger! Old Saint Nick was working out all summer long! Now he looks like a fitness model. It turns out he had an extra Peloton bike … READ MORE
Joe Bigeye
GREG GUTFELD IS AN ELF!
HE CLAIMS HE WILL SAVE CHRISTMAS! He’s leaving his new hit show GUTFELD! in the next two weeks, so he can make toys for Christmas! For years there have … READ MORE
NY FOOTBALL GIANTS SIGN A REAL GIANT!
New “woke” NFL rules are now taking effect! He’s 12’ 8” tall and weighs over 850lbs. Yes the NY Giants finally signed Justin Bunyon, who is a genuine giant. His … READ MORE
DILBERT CARTOONIST IS THE SON OF A GREEK GOD!
And his mother was a Muse World-famous cartoonist and satirist Scott Adams recently returned from a long trip in Santorini, Greece where he was seen levitating and laughing at almost all of their … READ MORE
NY METS ACE JACOB deGROM IS AN ALIEN!
Yes, all rumors have been confirmed! Weekly World News has the exclusive! The NY Mets star pitcher Jacob deGrom is an alien. “He throws 120 MPH in the bullpen, he … READ MORE
WWN SPORTS: Teenage Pitcher Throws 151 MPH!
16-year-old Sidd Finch Jr., the son of the former NY Mets prospect, is the real thing. He’s been spotted working out with rehabbing Mets star pitcher Noah Syndergaard in Port … READ MORE
THE POPE BANKRUPTS THE VATICAN – AGAIN!
He’s lost 100’s of Billions trading Bitcoin and Gamestop He may be infallible when it comes to religious doctrine, but Pope Francis has recently been taking on huge day-trading losses. … READ MORE
DRACULA GOES VEGAN!
AFTER MASSIVE HEART ATTACK, HE’S SWITCHING TO BLOODY MARYS Count Dracula has been sucking blood for hundreds of years but had a big scare last month. He was immediately admitted … READ MORE
ONE-ARMED GOLFER BEATS KIM JONG-UN!
He’s No Longer “the BEST Golfer Ever“ He had 11 Holes-in-One In His First Round and Still Lost! Three weeks ago, Ginnie-Su Kim, North Korea’s only female professional golfer witnessed … READ MORE
ABE LINCOLN WAS OBSESSED WITH MAYONNAISE!
New study shows it had THE PRESIDENT at death’s door! Inspires the start of the MAYO CLINIC Groundbreaking new research reveals that Lincoln’s arteries were so clogged with cholesterol he probably … READ MORE