Famous actor Alec Baldwin has outed himself as an alien in a Super Bowl commercial!
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100 YARD TOUCHDOWN MIRACLE
TAMPA, FL – Divine intervention is believed to have brought Super Bowl victory to the Pittsburgh Steelers last night.
MOUNT REDOUBT WEBCAM
MT. REDOUBT, AK – Scientists set up a webcam on Mount Redoubt to monitor volcanic activity, but discovered more than they bargained for.
SUZANNE SOMERS TO LIVE FOREVER
LOS ANGELES, CA – Suzanne Somers has recently come forward with the experimental hormone program which will give her eternal life.
BRITISH PARTY LEADER WOULD PUBLISH UFO FILES
SUNDERLAND, UK – The current leader of England’s Conservative Party has vowed to release secret UFO files if he becomes prime minister.
REPUBLICAN STIMULUS PLAN TANTRUM
WASHINGTON, DC – Last night, Congress passed a proposed $819 billion stimulus package. At a vote of 244 to 188, the bill passed despite no Republican support.
ZOMBIE ATTACK IMMINENT
AUSTIN, TX – A group of brave citizens hijacked a roadside sign to warn of a possible zombie outbreak!
SECRETARIES PROTEST STARBUCKS DECAF CHANGE
SEATTLE, WA – Secretaries have begun rioting near Starbucks’ headquarters after news spread that decaf coffee would no longer be brewed after noon.