NIKE SIGNS GOD AS SPOKESMAN

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Spokespeople for Nike Corporation announced yesterday the signing of God as the centerpiece of the ‘Thou Shalt Just Do It’ campaign.

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SECRETARIES PROTEST STARBUCKS DECAF CHANGE

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SEATTLE, WA – Secretaries have begun rioting near Starbucks’ headquarters after news spread that decaf coffee would no longer be brewed after noon.

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