RUSSIANS HACKED MY DVR!

KALAMAZOO, MICHIGAN – Eastside resident Eugene Halfstack, 88, claims that the Russian government hacked into his cable, heavily dictating what content that he can access. He first noticed this issue when he was unable to tune into early morning reruns of Rawhide, which he routinely watches when he wakes up daily at 3:00 AM. “Every … READ MORE

POPE ANNOUNCES CATHOLIC CRYPTOCURRENCY – VATICOIN!

VATICAN CITY – The Catholic Church follows Facebook, Monsanto, and the American Dentist’s Union as the latest to announce its foray into digital currencies. VatiCoin is coming! The platform, set to launch this Christmas, is “absolutely necessary for the continued convenience to our parishioners around the world,” explained Vatican spokesperson Cardinal Riciclaggio Denaro. “Despite our … READ MORE