Hey Readers everywhere, Get some self-esteem. Get off the couch. And for Sasquatch’s sake, stop looking for Bigfoot. He’s right here in the pages of Weekly World News! If you have a problem, call someone who cares. Otherwise, plead for my attention at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. DOGGIE DOORS Dear Dotti, Right when I thought life had … READ MORE
Everyone, listen up. Keep boxes closed, use filters on your videos and for God’s sake, don’t go to Costco for “one thing,” your family loves you even if I don’t give a damn. Call someone who cares, but if you want someone who doesn’t – editor@weeklyworldnews.com HAIR REBEL Dear Dotti, I FINALLY found the Blockbuster … READ MORE
Hello all you Dotti fans, thanks for all the love, it melts even this old B’s heart. Now, shutup! Unless you have an inquiry about your love life, your in-laws, or your vampire ex.editor@weeklyworldnews.com THE EX-VAMP PROBLEM Dear Dotti,My ex is a vampire that won’t stop sucking me dry. I went to my school’s blooddrive … READ MORE
To the pinheads everywhere, shut your trap! To the rest of you, write me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. WARM-UPS! Dear Dotti, My kid is on a travel baseball team and now I spend all my time in parking lots waiting for games to start. Between the uniforms, fees, equipment and hotels, I’m going broke AND driving three … READ MORE
Lost? Hopeless? Need a hug? Then call someone who cares. The rest of you, try me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com and I’ll answer if I feel like it. HOUND FROM HELL Dear Dotti, I adopted a hound from hell from a shelter minutes before they were going to send him back to Satan! Can you believe it? … READ MORE
Dear Readers, Sometimes the spooky world of the web lands a letter in my lap. Thanks to everyone who forwarded me this mess of a romance: ASTRAL PROJECTION AFFAIR WITH VAMPIRE DAMPENS DREAMS OK, so I had this conversation with my boyfriend of two years today. We plan on moving in together in the next … READ MORE
Hey readers, if you think I’ll care about YOUR problems, then try me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com And if a squatter is messing with you, read on… BANSHEES! Dear Dotti, My daughter has a high-pitched scream that she unleashes in public places, such as restaurants and libraries. After taking her to pediatricians and behavioral therapists with no … READ MORE
Let’s see who’s the reason we can’t have nice things this week… THE 90’s NEVER DIE, WHATEVER Dear Dotti, I’m sure reality split circa 1994 so I refuse to engage post Reality Bites. My friends thought this was fire until I made them stop saying fire and now, they say I’m mid. How do I … READ MORE
Hello, all you put-upons and sit-upons, time for another public correction. editor@weeklyworldnews.com for your inquiries, if you dare. MY FRIENDS HATE MY BOYFRIEND JUST BECAUSE HE’S DAMNED! Dear Dotti, My friends are being SO weird about my new guy. He’s really tall. His looks are fire and he has the deepest voice I’ve ever heard. … READ MORE
Let’s find out who’s the victim and who’s the problem. Send your twisted tales to editor@worldweeklynews.com, and I’ll straighten you out. Mabyel-By-Mailboy Dear Dotti, Because our addresses are nearly identical, I get the town spinster’s mail: coffin brochures, catalogs for compression socks, and nice cards from her nephews. Those go right in the trash. Last week, an … READ MORE