Let’s find out who needs a prayer and who needs a clue. Send your twisted tales to editor@worldweeklynew.com and I’ll straighten you right out. Big Dumb Eyes on the Sun Dear Dotti, My dorm roommate is doing a stare-at-the-sun social media challenge and now he’s bumping into walls and keeps asking if I got my … READ MORE
Hello Americans, Let’s see who needs a pat on the back and who needs a slap in the face. Keep the letters coming to editor@worldweeklynews.com. CRYBABIES! Dear Dotti, I’m a great stay-at-home Dad, but moms shun me at the park ‘cause my kids swear and throw toys! How do I get a playdate in this town … READ MORE
(Still alive, still drunk on truth serum and White Claw, broadcasting from a derelict Cracker Barrel off I-95. The Epstein list dropped more names than a drunk karaoke night, feral hogs are unionizing, and McDonald’s ice-cream machines are officially classified as a hate crime. Let’s get hysterical! HOG QUEEN DEAR DOTTI,I’m a suburban mom in … READ MORE
Folks, it’s your ol’ pal Dotti here, hunkered down in my Florida bunker with a bottle of champagne spiked with Bigfoot tears and a crystal ball that’s fogged up worse than Times Square after the ball drops. The world’s spinnin’ into 2026 faster than a chupacabra on a Red Bull bender—aliens crashin’ parties, Bat Boy … READ MORE
BURNING BENJAMINS DEAR DOTTI,My husband just announced he’s quitting his job to become a “full-time Trump shaman.” He’s wearing a red tie as a headband, burning $100 bills “to cleanse the aura of fiat currency,” and keeps screaming “THE STORM IS COMING” at the Roomba. We have three kids, a mortgage, and a golden retriever … READ MORE
Folks, it’s your ol’ pal Dotti here, sippin’ swamp water from a Bigfoot boot and channelin’ wisdom straight from the ghost of Elvis’s gold-plated UFO. The world’s gone madder than a three-eyed cat in a laser pointer factory this October—Trump’s tweetin’ from the moon, climate change turned Florida into a giant kiddie pool, and AI’s … READ MORE
MY FAKE VIDEO ADDICT HUSBAND Dear Dotti:My hubby is obsessed with this new AI video generator trend that’s blowing up everywhere. He spends all day making fake videos of me dancing with aliens or wrestling Bigfoot, and now our neighbors think I’m some kind of intergalactic freak show. Last week, he generated one where I’m … READ MORE
SHUTDOWN CITY Dear Dotti,With the government shutdown dragging on like a bad acid trip, my paycheck’s vanished faster than Elvis at a sighting convention, and my kids are demanding Fortnite V-Bucks while we eat ramen flavored with regret. How do I keep the family from mutiny? — Starving in Shutdown City Dear Starving: Oh, honey, … READ MORE
AMERICA’S MOST OUTSPOKEN ADVICE COLUMNIST! MY NEIGHBOR’S DOG IS TELLING ME TO DO BAD THINGS! Dear Dotti: I noticed recently that my neighbor’s dog is talking to me. He keeps telling me I should get rid of all the evil people in my city. He’s never talked to me before, but he sounds sincere. What … READ MORE
AMERICA’S MOST OUTSPOKEN ADVICE COLUMNIST! I’m back! I got tired of sitting around looking at my cats and watching the world go to hell. I figured I’d get back to work, helping Americans sort out their lives. So here’s my newest batch of advice for those who keep on sending me questions. I hope I … READ MORE