Submit your photo to Weekly World News
TOP STORIES
popefrancis_resign
hillary_theview

BAILOUT PACKAGE NEGLECTS ATHLETES


sports_bail_out

NEW YORK, NY – Times are tough. The economy is tanking.  And some sports leagues, teams, and stadiums have imposed a ticket price freeze. Don’t kid yourself.  That trickles down to the athletes.  These guys aren’t making only small fortunes now.

So why are they not sharing in the federal bailout?   These guys are American too you know*.
*Except half the NHL is from Canada and Europe, and 30% of baseball is Latin**.
**Stop splitting hairs, you ‘America should look out for America only’ bigots.  Your hatred is ugly.

Did you know Stephon Marbury only makes 21.9MM??!!  That’s only $10.5 million after taxes, agent fees, posse maintenance, and excessive partying.  That $28,000 per diem has to sustain him for a whole 12 months!  That has to be his walkaround money for the year.  That’s unacceptable.

Instead of charities, public works, and infratstructure, can we please get our priorities right? The rumor out of the Bronx is that the New Yankee stadium nachos have only 2 kinds of cheese options, due to budgetary constraints.  Yeah, like having a 3rd grade art class is more important than that?

You ignore this countries greatest cross-section, you make them tighten their belt, and you watch how fast we become a 3rd world sports power.

How is a marginal athlete expected to finance his HGH habit?  How is a NFL’er expected to make it reign?  How is any NBA player expected to knock up groupies? If each of them does not have the proper capital to blow foolishly.

Come on, Congress. These guys are just like us (on roids), work almost as hard (for about half the year) as your typical factory worker, and have the same concerns as everyday Americans (who have won the lottery).  They board private jets just like the rest of us (would).

Stop ignoring their needs, and let us help them.  It’s the right thing to do.