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BREASTFEEDING ARREST NEAR GINGRICH HOME


McLEAN, VA. – A Virginia woman was arrested for breastfeeding her one-month old son near the home of the G.O.P. Presidential hopeful.

After speculation that Callista Gingrich made the 911 call to report the breastfeeding woman, the former Speaker’s wife explained her reasoning at a news conference. “Yes, I made the call. I spoke up on behalf of my family and Newt’s campaign. We support the McLean Police Department’s aggressive stance on public indecency and the decision to arrest Ms. Valentine. This is a family neighborhood filled with hard-working American people. We stand together as a community. We will not allow people like this to infiltrate. We are trying to rebuild the America we love, and there is no room for obscenity.”

First-time mother Sherry Valentine was charged with indecent exposure and child endangerment for allegedly pulling over to feed her son. Valentine claims she couldn’t calm the baby because she was driving. She stopped the car on what she called “a quiet street” and sat on a seat in a park gazebo, just a few blocks from the Gingrich home.

Ms. Gingrich happened upon the scene as she returned from a campaign event celebrating her husband’s South Carolina primary victory. It is unclear where Valentine and her newborn live, but neighborhood association sources confirm, “they’re not from around here. “

When answering questions from reporters, Gingrich continued, “It’s inappropriate, really. People need to take care of these situations in private. Some secrets should remain behind closed doors.”