SOPHIA LOREN UNDEAD?

LOS ANGELES, CA – Sophia Loren was summoned to present at the 81st Academy Awards last night, but many of the younger actresses were warned to stay away.

EU Urges Integration of Vampires

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – The European Union has taken action to integrate one of its least recognized minorities: vampires.

The move was a reaction to an Italian ruling to put crosses on top of every street sign and lamp-post in the country, a move many feel was aimed directly at the vampire community.

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