President Obama has confirmed what Newt Gingrich first announced:  Mitt Romney is a vampire.
Reporters thought that President Obama was merely calling Mitt Romney a vampire in a figurative way – making the claim that  Mitt Romney is a heartless, job-destroying financier.   A n attack on Mr. Romney’s record as head of Bain Capita Brain Capital.
But today, the White House released DNA evidence that “proves being a shadow of a doubt” that Mitt Romney is a, in fact, a real life bloodsucker.

And there are rumors that his wife is a vampire as well:

Will this line of assault work for Mr. Obama, where it didn’t for Mr. Gingrich?
“We think that it will actually help our candidate,” said a source close to Mitt Romney.  “President Obama announced that he was gay and it seems to have helped him in the polls.  There are a lot of pro-vampire voters in the country and we think Mitt will get a bump in the polls from the revelation.”
Here’s a new supporter of Mitt Romney:

So when did Mitt Romney become a vampire?

Sources say that Mitt was a normal, superrich man until after the 2008 primary elections.  “He took his loss to John McCain very hard and he sort of went into a cave,” said a source close to the Romney campaign.  “The next time we saw him he just was biting everybody, looking for blood.  We were scared at first, but now everybody is used to it.  It actually makes him cool.”
Romney already has the Zombie vote, so now he can count on the vampire vote as well.

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18 thoughts on “ROMNEY IS A VAMPIRE”

  1. If Mitt knows what I know, PSEM (Psycho-electromagnetism – yang) clearly, then he is a potential vampire. but he knows an end will come, it's temp to thrive on blood alone to survive, but the need for Ectoplasm in blood to survive is predominante, the concept has an end because it doesn't make enough common sense.
    See, it's the eager to live ever that wins oneself through PSEM, and it's the wisdom of age and revitalization that also motivates those who know PSEM clearly and know that being a real vamp is poor and useless if prolonged.
    The educated one who knows PSEM at large knows that many exceptions to the rules of vamprism can change but certain rules that are discovered do not change – This is what could be according to old legends, the persona education of the vamp has loop holes but also limited.


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