LOS ANGELES, CA – Sophia Loren was summoned to present at the 81st Academy Awards last night, but many of the younger actresses were warned to stay away.

Born in 1934, Loren is an award-winning actress and widely beloved sex symbol. Although recently absent from film, Loren was called to the Oscars to present Best Actress, along with Halle Berry, Shirley Maclaine, Marion Cotillard and Nicole Kidman. Loren magically kept her perfect looks well past her prime, but as evident from last night, her regimen is starting to slip.

Many of the actresses attending the ceremonies were excited to meet the legendary beauty, but Academy staff advised them to steer clear of her. “It was very strange,” explained Cotillard. “As soon as we stepped backstage, a security guard was by her side, watching her every move. It almost seemed like he was guarding us from her, not the other way around.”

It has long been rumored that Loren charms promising young actresses and takes them under her wing for mentoring. But none of these girls are ever heard from again, while Loren continues to thrive.

Later in the evening, Loren was caught examining Anne Hathaway’s necklace too closely, and was quickly ushered away.

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6 thoughts on “SOPHIA LOREN UNDEAD?”

  1. the woman is rare, a classic among the film stars, having never laundered any linen in public, she never sought to capitalise on failings of herself or others; no drug abuse, molestations, child abuse, alcoholism, mutli-personlities, or any of the other garbage others seek face time for….
    .. . . . . . . in short she is a lady, a lady, a lady . . .
    . .i hope she lives to be a hundred. . . . . .


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