The traditional New York accent – where residents pronounce coffee “cawfee” etc. – will be gone by 2015 scholars claim.
STUDY: BRITISH ACCENT NO LONGER SEXY
PALO ALTO, CA – A new study out of Stanford University reveals that the British accent is no longer considered a positive trait for attracting sexual partners.
FEDS TO SEIZE ALL ACOUSTIC GUITARS!
MEMPHIS – Federal agents raided guitar factories around the country today. They plan to seize all acoustic guitars.
RICK PERRY IS FAKING HIS TWANG!
DALLAS – According to sources close to the Texas governor – Rick Perry fakes his twang.