RICK PERRY IS FAKING HIS TWANG!

DALLAS  – According to sources close to the Texas governor – Rick Perry fakes his twang.
Rick Perry is known for his tough talk and his heavy Texas twang.  But an insider close to the governor says that he is faking his Texas twang – because he feels it will appeal to voters.
“Oh hell, he’s been faking it for years,” said Perry family friend, Tad Boller.   “He was born in Texas, but his parents ‘educated the twang’ out of him when he was a boy.  I bust a gut every time I hear him make a speech.”

Why does Perry do it?  “He thinks it makes him more of a cowboy, makes him sound tougher,” said Boller.
Perry considers himself a “rugged Texan” who often tells supporters he can ride a bronco bareback and can rope a calf blindfolded.  Perry proudly tells friends he can wrestle a brown bear and is willing to prove it.  “Brown bears don’t scare me.  What scares me is people who believe in evolution.  That scares the grits out of me.”
Also, according to insiders, Perry is really a Democrat.  “He likes talking like a big ole Red Republican, but he really is an environmentalist at heart, who believes fully in global warming.  He also likes higher taxes, unions and is pro-choice.  Once he becomes President, he plans on doing the Texas two-step on the American people.  He’s already saying that Al Gore is going to be his Secretary of Energy.”

As a boy, Perry took lessons to learn how to speak with a proper Texas twang.  “It was kind the reverse of what you saw in that movie, The King’s Speech,” Boller said.   Boller said taht Perry used to speak English with no accent whatsoever, but he wanted to be considered ‘cool’ by his classmates in high school,  so he started taking Twang Lessons.  In college, at Texas A&M, Perry lapsed back and lost his twang, but when he made a run for Texas governor, he brought back his teacher and… now he’s making a run for President.”
Professor Guy Bailey, a linguistics expert at University of Texas, is Rick Perry’s twang instructor.
Perry tells friends he prefers “Texas English,” than “English English.”  Perry says that Texas English is more desirable these days and that foreign leaders “expect American Presidents to have a Texas twang.  “They respect us more if our President has the twang,” Perry told a town hall in South Carolina.y
Perry wakes up every day to an alarm clock that says, “Y’all have a good day. ”  He alwasy says he is all for big “bidness” and tells friends that he is “fixin’ to” send Barack Obama back to Illinois.”  Perry has a personal goal of saying “y’all” at least 100 times a day.  “He thinks the more he says it, the more of a Texan he is,” said Boller.
But there’s another cowboy in town, and he’s learning to twang, too:

4 thoughts on “RICK PERRY IS FAKING HIS TWANG!”

  1. It looks like President Obama has cooked his own goose, by bypassing Congress and using his administrative order, to overcome deportation proceedings. It might assist him with ethnic groups and the 20 million plus illegal aliens. However, the TEA PARTY will be avidly be watching for irregularities, in the 2012 elections for illegal aliens and others violating the US voting laws. Constituencies must be made to realize that registration and voting by non-citizens are violations against the basic principles of our Dem¬ocratic system and that such cases must be prosecuted. All states should require anyone who registers to vote to make available proof of U.S. citizenship. This requirement should be identical to the fed¬eral requirement of proof for employment using E-Verify.
    This new policy is an act of indifference, allowing millions of illegal aliens to stay here, when 13 or 14 US citizens and legal residence cannot find a job Most Americans are aware that approximately 8 million illegal aliens have been hired for some kind of employment. All Emperor Obama has accomplished with this decision, is to keep the illegal alien occupation to continue. Look up on your computer the websites of NumbersUSA, (FAIR) Federation for Immigration Reform for facts and records on illegal immigration.
    Most polls have demanded that the border fence be built, as designed by Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA) as the 2006 secure fence act; still it remains uncompleted, no matter what Homeland Security secretary Napolitano has elaborated on, in her press conferences. There are still gaping holes, you could drive a Hummer through and give passage to thousands more illegal nationals daily of –ECONOMIC–illegal aliens.
    Michelle Bachmann, chairman of the TEA PARTY, as reported by the Associated Press made illegal immigration an issue in Greenville, South Carolina as part of her three state tours. Michele Bachmann is reported to have said "lax enforcement of immigration laws was a threat to the nation's security. She agreed with a town hall audience at a Greenville stop that U.S. troops should be redeployed from South Korea to South Texas." The report also states that Bachmann said "The problem has been in our unwillingness to enforce the laws that are on the books." and "How do you solve it? You build a barrier, a fence, a wall — whatever you want to call it. You build it…As president of the United States, every mile, every yard, every foot; every inch will be covered on that southern border."
    This is the type of speech that Americans wish to hear about fully constructing the Southern border barrier, deployed troops to support the US border patrol. Hundreds of billions could be saved, with perhaps trillions over the years to come and halt overpopulation. The US people haven't heard this kind of talk from Rick Perry, Ron Paul, and Gary Johnson, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin and definitely no assistance from our present President. Rick Perry who has joined the long grueling races has not shown any worthwhile distinction in upholding enforcement laws, to stop the illegal alien occupation. Only Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain have shown strong characters, by determining neither are going to be intimidated by the anti-American radical group La Raza, or the open border agenda of corporate players for cheap labor, or the Imperial court of the current government for future votes. Annually the cost to financially supporting the illegal immigration invasion is rapidly spiraling upwards from the current $113 Billion dollars.
    Michelle Bachmann does have a thick skin, letting the diatribe run off of her, like water of a ducks back. Don't let her slender appearance deceive you, as she has a strong backbone and will fight against the greed, rot and corruption in Washington today and yesterday. You can listen to the usual rhetoric of this administration and even some in the Republican establishment or you can vote for a leader for the People; ALL THE PEOPLE? Voting for the usual career politicians will give America much of the same.
    So what does that old quote say? “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." The American people have been brought and sold behind closed doors for years.

    Reply
    • Well said Brittanicus! If enough people would get up off their lazy butts and take to the streets physically removing the illegal trespassers we could solve the problem in a month. We would all have jobs and wages would go up.

    • LOL. Illegal immigrants aside don't underestimate the power of the Hispanic vote!
      Keep up the hate rhetoric! I'm sure 'Ole Jim Crow himself would be kicking himself in the arse if he could see that a Black man is now running his beloved country. Yep, please keep it up and you will soon see a Mexican Liberal in office. Gracias

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.