D.C.

GOD THROWING ASTEROIDS AT EARTH

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NASA has just detected a swarm of 16 asteroids hurtling towards Earth this week. After investigating the swarm, NASA has announced that God was throwing asteroids at Earth. They did not know what the reason was for God’s actions, but they are confident it was him (or her). These asteroids will start slamming into Earth … READ MORE

CICADAS WILL OVERRUN D.C.!

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LOBBYISTS CRY FOUL! In a once in a 17-year event, Cicadas will emerge from their underground nests across the nation. Thisincludes the District of Columbia. Lobbyists are panicking. “This could be a disaster,” Noted Jolene Small, Head of the DC Lobbyists ofAmerica Association. “These insects are really loud. They may well drone out everything we … READ MORE