NFL TO SHUT DOWN BY 2020

The NFL announced that due to injury lawsuits and President Obama’s latest initiative, it will shut down in 2020.

President Obama has formed a task force whose goal is to end the National Football League by 2020.  “The President feels that the NFL has become too violent and feels that it is unsafe for players,” said a source in the White House.  “The President feels that the game now appeals to Americans baser instincts and wants to encourage sports that are competitive, but non-violent.”
It’s all part of of President Obama’s War on Violence. The President hopes to end violence in America by the time he leaves office in 2016.

Though the President has often tossed a football around for fun, he doesn’t care for the game.  He prefers basketball and would like to see basketball become American’s top sport.
“Football players keep getting faster, stronger, bigger and the President feels that it’s only a matter of time before a player dies on the field,” said a source close to the NFL.  “The President feels that American will get over their obsession with football and embrace other sports… like Women’s Soccer.”

NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, said that he will do everything in his power to stop the United States government from abolishing the NFL, but he feels that it may be a losing battle.  “The government has just ordered us to ban tackling.  They want to turn the NFL into flag-football.”

Football fans are up in arms… but they will have to lobby the President and Congress to stop the inevitable.