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MICHELLE OBAMA: BARACK IS THE MESSIAH!

Michelle Obama confirmed what many Democrats have believed for years – Barack Obama is Jesus reincarnated.
Michelle Obama came onto the stage of the Democratic Convention in North Carolina on Tuesday night to the strains of Stevie Wonder’s  new gospel song “Barack is Lord”!
The self-described “mom-in-chief” — “my most important title,” she said this night — gave an effectively emotional speech, at times her voice quavering.  She spoke about  her early life with her husband. Mrs. Obama talked about their courtship and their college debts. She said that when they were first dating, Barack’s most prized possession was ” a coffee table he found in a dumpster,” clearly a bold attempt to trump Ann Romney’s we-ate-our meals-on-an-ironing-board anecdote.
Then, she shocked the convention hall when she said that it wasn’t until after she was married to Barack Obama for two years that she came to realize that Barack was, in fact, the Messiah.


“At first, I thought it was just luck that Barack would always find a parking spot right in front of our apartment in Chicago, or that he always got every job he every wanted, or had people writing down everything he said,” the First Lady reportedly told the delegates. “I never thought anything of the fact that we always had wine in the house, but I never saw him buy a bottle. Not once.”

The First Lady went on to tell the delegates and Americans at home, that Barack is “still the same man he was back in 2008.”   She said that Barack can still heal the earth, part the Red Sea and get a NYC cab on a rainy day, during rush hour.”
“Barack is our Savior,” Michelle reportedly said in her speech.  “Barack will lead Americans out of the wilderness, out of the Burning Bush that was left for him.  Barack will lead us to the promised land and part the Seas so he can put windmills on the floors of the oceans and power the world with Earth, Wind and Fire.”

Michelle then broke into song and sang a song with a familiar melody.  She wowed the crowd with “Barack Obama, Superstar.”  She went on to say that Mitt Romney was just a Roman soldier, but Paul Ryan, is “Judas.”   She reportedly said, “Paul Ryan wants to take us back to the era of the dinosaurs, back when Republicans shot dinosaur with their assault weapons and brought on the ice age.”
The First Lady also said that President Obama was “in on” the Clint Eastwood routine.  “Barack has said repeatedly that if he had a superpower it would be the power to be invisible.  Well, the fact is that he HAS that power and last week he sat in the chair, while Clint Eastwood did his schtick.  Barack loved it and plans on making Clint Eastwood an angel… in Limbo.
There were some people that were upset that the word “God” was taken out of the Democratic Party Platform.  Michelle revealed the reason for this… “You can’t have Barack and God in the same document, or sentence.  It’s redundant.”
So, there you have it.  Barack Obama – the confirmed Messiah.

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37 thoughts on “MICHELLE OBAMA: BARACK IS THE MESSIAH!”

  1. Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name saying I am the Christ; and shall deceive many. Matthew 24: 4-5.
    Be very careful of false prophets, especially those that hide behind a high office.

    Reply
    • Clearly you trust the Bible to be 100% true because it says it holds the only religious truth. No doubt you also trust Fox because Fox says it holds the only political truth. But your gullibility is so great you also believe that a satirical, PRACTICAL JOKE posting is true because it says it's true. Wake up and smell the pranking!

    • NO NO NO JESUS IS THE ONLY MESSIAH AND HE IS SEATED ON THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD THE FATHER. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS DECEPTION.

    • Your gullibility is showing front and center. This is a JOKE site but you're so willing to believe anything you read online against Obama that you fell for it full-face.
      Hint: FOX is only slightly less of a joke!

  2. Obama is not the messiah, there's only one God,, he is not, and will never be a messiah,, be careful with what happened with this false prophets !!

    Reply
    • Your right-wing hatred of Obama is sooooo deep and inchoate that you never realised this is a JOKE posting. You've been pranked!

  3. I saw the Michelle Obama thing and I saw no where did she mention that her husband was the Messiah. Really People get a grip The President is a Man not GOD big difference

    Reply
    • That's TRUE because this is a –satire– posting! It's a practical joke, but all of the Obama-hating rightwingnuts come out like locusts. After all, they think Fox is true so why shouldn't this site be, too?

  4. Matthew 24:23-25 (Amp) says: If anyone says to you then, behold, here is the Christ (the Messiah)! or, There He is!–do not believe it. For false prophets will arise, and they will show great signs and wonders so as to deceive and lead astray, if possible, even the elect (God's chosen ones) See, I have warned you beforehand.

    Reply
  5. Matthew 24:23-25 (Amp) says: If anyone says to you then, behold, here is the Christ (the Messiah)! or, There He is!–do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will arise, and they will show great signs and wonders so as to deceive and lead astray, if possible, even the elect (God’s chosen ones) See, I have warned you beforehand

    Reply
  6. Hello out there all you true believers who can't wait to post your anti-Obama screeds: take a closer look at this site. Like The Onion, it's a HUMOR and SATIRE site.
    Just because you read something on the Web, does that mean it's automatically true? SHEESH!

    Reply
  7. hey! cant bliv yall are taking this so serious. you ought to know by now that this website is just for fun and we all like it that way so this isnt what yall think….. just a joke…. dont publicise it.

    Reply
  8. Hello
    I don't know whether you heard of the '44 Prophecy' by Adam Mickiewicz, the great mistic and great-grandfather of David Miscavage, the current leader of Scientology. Many people who read it think it's all about the 44th president of USA:
    'Look – oh! – that Child flew – he grows – he's the Defender! / The Reviver of his People – / From an alien Mother – he's Blood is of ancient Warriors / And his Name will be Forty-and-Four. / Oh Lord! Please, don't You hasten his coming? (…) My Beloved is on the Sky, he didn't disappear from my sight. / Like three Suns shine the Apples of his three Eyes, / To all Nations presents he his pierced right Hand. / Who is that Man? – The Viceroy of Earthly Vale. / I knew him – he was a Child – I knew him, / How he grew up, both his Soul and Body! / He's blind, but a Boy-Angel leads him. / Fearsome Man – of three Faces, / Has three Foreheads / And – like a Canopy – that Misterious Book / Floating above his Head shades his Faces. / His Footstool are three Capital Cities. / Three Ends of the World tremble, when he calls / And I hear thunderlike Voices from Heaven: / This is the Visible Deputy of Freedom on Earth! / Upon Glory will he build the Power / Of his Temple! / Elevated above Nations and Kings; / Standing upon three Crowns – himself uncrowned / And his Life – Toil of Toils / And his Title – People of Peoples. / From an alien Mother, his Blood is from ancient Warriors / And his Name is Forty-and-Four. / Glory! Glory! Glory!'
    Obama's father comes from Luo people of Kenya ('ancient warriors'), he's mother was American ('alien') and he is percieved as a defender of freadom, peace etc. What do you think?
    The prophecy is contained in Mickiewicz's long poem/theatrical play entitled 'Dziady' (translated as 'Forefathers' or 'Forefathers Eve')

    Reply
  9. I really need to lose some weight.I'm single.Don't count on me.After a pause he continued his story.What time is it? Every man is fool sometimes, but none at all times.Every man is fool sometimes, but none at all times.I heard some one laughing.It's her field.What he likes best is making jokes.

    Reply
  10. Michele loves her husband and has great faith in him. He can be her personal messiah. But until he comes in on a cloud, with a host of angels,and the saints. He will have to settle for being a great president for me….

    Reply
  11. Fellow christians, do not be carried away by what is going on now! Remember MATTHEW 24 is beyond dout the greatest biblical eschatology that explain in details about the second coming of christ. Know that OBAMA is not biblical figure and if at all it happens to be one, then he is the ANTI-CHRIST that the bible talks about. Think deep so that you will not be decieve. JESUS IS COMING SOON.

    Reply
  12. who believes this crap????? I am checking out other websites who really do believe it, and there are many who seem to believe he is the Messiah.. this is CRAZY..

    Reply

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