LONDON – After almost 30 years of terror, the carcass of the British Beast of Exmoor has washed ashore, with evidence the government can’t deny!
Mutants
BIGFOOT TWITTER HACKED
BLUE MOUNTAINS, OR – After a spate of high-profile Twitter accounts were hacked, the world’s most famous cryptid became the next victim.
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON SPOTTED!
ST. BART – Several eyewitnesses have confirmed reports that the legendary Creature from the Black Lagoon is on the loose in St. Bart!
SELF-PARKING CAR SECRET
DETROIT, MI – After announcing new “self-parking” cars, reports have emerged about the source of the revolutionary technology – goblins!
PUFF HATES OBAMA PARODY
BY THE SEA, HONAH LEE – Amid the controversy surrounding an RNC member’s racist song, Puff the Magic Dragon has finally stepped forward to take a stand.
BUSH PARDONS MANIGATOR
CRAWFORD, TX – Bush Administration officials have announced the latest recipient of a Presidential pardon.
PhD APE JR. ANALYZES SANTA
NEW YORK, NY – Holiday shoppers at Macy’s Department Store were surprised this week when PhD Ape brought his son and niece to meet Santa for the first time.
MANIGATOR ATTACKS RICK WARREN
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Rick Warren was attacked by the half-alligator mutant Manigator at a press conference earlier today.