Headlines
TOILET TURNS INTO SPACE-TIME PORTAL WHEN FLUSHED
“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden … READ MORE
Train Robbers Back Railroad Strikers, Refuse to Cross Picket Line!
Omaha – The nation’s largest union for train robbers announced that they would not cross the picket lines in support of railroad workers currently on strike against the nation’s largest … READ MORE
ABOMINABLE BEACHMAN!
HAIRLESS HAWAIIAN GIANT TERRORIZES LOCAL FISHERMAN HONOLULU, HI — Weekly World News has tracked many bizarre creatures over the years, from Bat Boy to Bigfoot. But none has been quite … READ MORE
HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE IN A CULT
Many people around the world attend gatherings, community groups, religious services, or secret organizations even during the pandemic. Some do it on Sunday mornings, others do it on different days … READ MORE
PLANET NIBURU TO COLLIDE WITH EARTH!
A prominent astrophysicist has confirmed that NIBIRU COULD COLLIDE WITH EARTH AS EARLY AS September 21st, 2022. Dr. Frank Mallikovski, formerly with NASA, told Weekly World News that Planet Nibiru … READ MORE
JESUS’S SANDALS FOUND IN UTAH!
Religious Groups Fight for Ownership MOAB, UTAH — The lost Sandals of Jesus, missing for over 2,000 years, have been found! An intrepid Vatican treasure hunter stunned every biblical when … READ MORE
U.S. PLANNING ARMY OF BAT BOY CLONES!
“THE PENTAGON WANTS TO CREATE A BATTALION OF HEROES!” The U.S. Army War College in Carlisle, PA, has strongly advised the Pentagon to create hundreds or even thousands of Bat … READ MORE
EARTH’S ROTATION IS SLOWING DOWN!
…AND WILL COME TO A HALT IN 3 YEARS, WARN SCIENTISTS ANCHORAGE, ALASKA — Worried scientists say they have detected a significant slowing of our planet’s rotation — and predict … READ MORE
ROME WAS BUILT IN A DAY!
Archaeologists make a startling discovery! ROME, ITALY — Here’s a newsflash to all those underachievers who fall back on the old claim that ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day.’ “Turns … READ MORE