Let’s find out who needs a prayer and who needs a clue. Send your twisted tales to editor@worldweeklynew.com and I’ll straighten you right out.
Big Dumb Eyes on the Sun
Dear Dotti,
My dorm roommate is doing a stare-at-the-sun social media challenge and now he’s bumping into walls and keeps asking if I got my hair cut! Is there such thing as a going-blind intervention? – Signed, Those Are My Jeans.
Dear Jeans,
Forget his retinas and stage a moron-intervention, stat. Your roommate is addicted to stupid, and that spreads through a dorm faster than a bad case of crabs. Save your roommate while’s there still time. Stupid is highly contagious in close quarters. — Dotti
Lego Kills Romance!
Dear Dotti,
I’m a LEGO-widow. My kids left for college, and my husband is building all the sets they left behind. I haven’t seen him for six months. When I slide food under the door, all I hear is mutterings about sand purple and mini-figs. –- Signed, Bricked-in.
Dear Bricked,
It’s a LEGO world. We just step on it. Rekindle your romance with a trip to Legoland and your husband’s empty-nest heart will be filled with golden bricks for you. By the way, can you ask him if he has any orange slope? I’m trying to finish my own mid-life crisis. –- Dotti
Prayers for a Scandal
Dear Dotti,
My prayer circle has become the town grapevine! We’re “praying” for the Lord’s protection over illegal gambling behind the feed store, the out-of-wedlock pregnancy of the prom queen and especially over the pastor’s wife who’s keeping company with the high school principal. What’s a good church lady to do? – Signed, We Prayin’ or Gabbin’?
Dear Gabbin’,
This prayer circle is better than Real Housewives. Pray all you want the other days of the week, but don’t miss this weekly micro-drama. Write me back if divine protection comes through for the pastor’s wife. -– Dotti
