CUPERTINO, CA – Apple launched its iPad 2 this morning and then announced that the iPad 3 will be available at the end of the year.
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VITA COCO SIGNS KIRK DOUGLAS
HOLLYWOOD – Kirk Douglas made a surprise appearance at the Oscars last night and announced that he is endorsing Vita Coco – 100% natural coconut water.
BRAIN PACEMAKERS
WASHINGTON – Brain pacemakers, tiny implants, are here, ready to cure all psychiatric diseases.
SYNCHRONIZED GOLDFISH
SHANGHAI – A Chinese magician is under attack by animal rights groups for his synchronized goldfish act!
SILVER STREAK IN THE SKY!
PENNSYLVANIA – A silver streak flashed across the east coast last night. Authorities confirm that it was an alien spaceship!
CLOTHING PRICES TO RISE 50%
NEW YORK – Clothing industry analysts predict clothing prices will rise 50% in the coming months.