BRICK RIVERS ON “THE CLOWN WITH NO NAME” TRILOGY’S SURVIVAL. In 1967, American movie audiences flocked to theaters to see “The Man With No Name” spaghetti western trilogy, released in Italy in 1964 – 1966. “A Fistful of Dollars,” “For A Few Dollars More” and “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly” reinvented the Western genre and made an international movie … READ MORE
HIS WORLD TOUR IS FORCED TO GO UNDERGROUND! The lights dim in “Florida Man’s Cave” in Daytona, Florida. This reporter is sitting next to concert promoter Dick Hyman. “You’re going to love this,” he enthuses. This is Bat Boy’s All Stars’ first American concert on its first world tour. Yet, the gig is being advertised … READ MORE
WILL WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS SAVE CHRISTMAS? It was just about a week ago that this WWN stalwart received a strange phone call. “Brick? This is Santa Claus. I need your help.” “If you’re Santa, then I’m the Easter Bunny,” this scribe replied, with casual snark. The voice on the other end of the phone then … READ MORE
NEW OWNER AND GHOSTS BECOME BUSINESS PARTNERS! Staring up at The Helstrom Hotel in Berry Hills, New Jersey, one can’t help being transported to another time, another place. The Hotel resembles a collision between the Munster’s house and The Adams Family’s abode. It’s recently been renovated and it’s picture-perfect. Oh, and it’s haunted. This reporter … READ MORE
“I’M BETTING ON IT,” A SHADY PRODUCER TELLS BRICK RIVERS! Recently, the writers attempted to meet with studio and streaming heads for the first time in over three months. The well-paid CEOs dismissed all the writers’ demands but promised to pay them extra wampum. When it was pointed out that colored beads and trinkets hadn’t … READ MORE
“We tried using facemasks. It was like hopping around in a big sack!” says union president. Jack Bunny, the head of the American Easter Bunny Union, has officially cancelled all Easter egg deliveries this year. “We are sorry to announce this,” said Mr. Bunny. “We really tried everything to avoid this. We tried wearing standard-sized … READ MORE
“SANTA’S CRUEL AND MEAN,” DECLARES ONE ANTI-TINSEL TERRORIST! It’s twenty-one degrees outside the cab of this BearCat SWAT vehicle. The wind shrieks and the waves of rain pummeling the cab are slowly turning into torrents of ice…soon to be snow – a lot of it. The truck makes its way through the maelstrom. It’s thirty … READ MORE
“YOU SAW HER. YOU GOT HER. NOW, WHAT?” Not satisfied with delivering such cultural milestones as roller boogie, New Age cults, the Marvel Universe and Ronald Reagan to the world, California has now rolled out a new trend that’s spreading like wildfire: Monster Marriage Counseling. Started by Dr. Hans Zupp, the counseling service now has … READ MORE
“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden extension. A voice asks, “Are you ready?” This WEEKLY WORLD NEWS reporter nods. WWN knows that this lever, when pushed, will create a time/space vortex … READ MORE
NOSTRADAMUS’ KID BROTHER SIZES UP 2022. As we slog into the third month of 2022, it’s becoming obvious that this year is going to be screwier than last year. Marching into 2022 has been like getting an unexpected hug from a wet, fetid orangutan that slathers you with kisses. And it really has to crap. … READ MORE