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Brick Rivers

ROBOT OVERLORDS ABORT U.S.A. INVASION!

September 16, 2021 by Brick Rivers

“IT WOULD’VE BEEN TOO CRUEL,” SAYS HEAD ROBOT, “LIKE DROP-KICKING A KITTEN.” In June of 2019, the small, sluggish burg of Constant Falls, the government designated Georgia “Ground Zero” in … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Technology Tags robots, seeds

ANCIENT EGYPTIAN BOWLING LEAGUE DISCOVERED IN DIG!

August 18, 2021 by Brick Rivers

BOWLING BALLS AND PINS UNEARTHED AS WELL! Last November, when the headlines were driven by the first wave of COVID-19, archeologists in Egypt unearthed more than 100 beautifully painted wooden … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Occult Tags archaeology, bowling, mummy

SNOW WHITE’S PRINCE ACCUSED OF SEXUAL MISCONDUCT!

August 3, 2021 by Brick Rivers

LIFE-SAVING KISS DEEMED “NON-CONSENSUAL” AND A BAD EXAMPLE. On a lovely street tucked into Burbank’s suburbs is a block featuring nothing but tiny “fairy” cottages. At the end of the … READ MORE

Categories Headlines

BAT BOY’S BAND IS ON THE RUN! PURSUED BY THE FBI!

July 20, 2021July 19, 2021 by Brick Rivers

HIS WORLD TOUR IS FORCED TO GO UNDERGROUND! The lights dim in “Florida Man’s Cave” in Daytona, Florida. This reporter is sitting next to concert promoter Dick Hyman. “You’re going … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags Bat Boy, fbi, world tour

CLASSIC MONSTER RETIREMENT HOME EXPANDS CAMPUS!

July 17, 2021 by Brick Rivers

WELCOMES THE CLASS OF THE 1950S. Entering the 2,000 plus acres Monster Retirement home after dark is like entering a different world, several different worlds, in fact. This reporter is … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags monsters

ARE YOU DATING A WITCH?

June 22, 2021June 15, 2021 by Brick Rivers

PROFESSOR SAYS THAT THERE ARE MORE HUMAN-WITCH COUPLES THAN YOU’D THINK. Professor Julio Chinchilla, holds up a copy of his new book, “That Voodoo That You Do To Me,” and … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags advice, dating, witches

WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO CHERUB!

June 14, 2021June 9, 2021 by Brick Rivers

“IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH A BIG PIGEON,” SAYS UNIMPRESSED DAD. For all those that don’t believe in miracles, they should visit the home of Vinnie and Darla D’Vine. Located in … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Paranormal Tags angels

DID ABE LINCOLN FAKE HIS DEATH?

May 5, 2021 by Brick Rivers

RECENT SIGHTINGS LEADS HISTORIAN TO SAY “PROBABLY.” April 15th, 2021 marked the 156th anniversary of President Abraham Lincoln’s assassination. Or did it? One scholar, who has viewed photographic evidence showing … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags abe lincoln, abraham lincoln, Martin Luther King, Woodstock

MAN VOTED THE GRUMPIEST PERSON IN AMERICA

May 2, 2021April 28, 2021 by Brick Rivers

FOR THE 25TH YEAR IN A ROW! When WWN learned that the American Misanthropic Institute had picked their 2021 “Grumpiest Man in America” winner and that he was a multiple … READ MORE

Categories Headlines

CHAOS IN CALIFORNIA GUN CLUB!

May 3, 2021April 19, 2021 by Brick Rivers

MEMBERS PANIC AS AN UNARMED COUPLE IS SPOTTED! Police in Glenfarthy, California descended in force on the “Stand Your Ground Gun Club” shooting range after panicked members began calling 911 … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags hippies
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