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Brick Rivers

BAT BOY’S BAND IS ON THE RUN! PURSUED BY THE FBI!

July 20, 2021July 19, 2021 by Brick Rivers

HIS WORLD TOUR IS FORCED TO GO UNDERGROUND! The lights dim in “Florida Man’s Cave” in Daytona, Florida. This reporter is sitting next to concert promoter Dick Hyman. “You’re going … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags Bat Boy, fbi, world tour

CLASSIC MONSTER RETIREMENT HOME EXPANDS CAMPUS!

July 17, 2021 by Brick Rivers

WELCOMES THE CLASS OF THE 1950S. Entering the 2,000 plus acres Monster Retirement home after dark is like entering a different world, several different worlds, in fact. This reporter is … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags monsters

ARE YOU DATING A WITCH?

June 22, 2021June 15, 2021 by Brick Rivers

PROFESSOR SAYS THAT THERE ARE MORE HUMAN-WITCH COUPLES THAN YOU’D THINK. Professor Julio Chinchilla, holds up a copy of his new book, “That Voodoo That You Do To Me,” and … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags advice, dating, witches

WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO CHERUB!

June 14, 2021June 9, 2021 by Brick Rivers

“IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH A BIG PIGEON,” SAYS UNIMPRESSED DAD. For all those that don’t believe in miracles, they should visit the home of Vinnie and Darla D’Vine. Located in … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Paranormal Tags angels

TOILET TURNS INTO SPACE-TIME PORTAL WHEN FLUSHED

June 15, 2021May 24, 2021 by Brick Rivers

“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden … READ MORE

Categories Paranormal, Science Tags portals, toilets

DID ABE LINCOLN FAKE HIS DEATH?

May 5, 2021 by Brick Rivers

RECENT SIGHTINGS LEADS HISTORIAN TO SAY “PROBABLY.” April 15th, 2021 marked the 156th anniversary of President Abraham Lincoln’s assassination. Or did it? One scholar, who has viewed photographic evidence showing … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags abe lincoln, abraham lincoln, Martin Luther King, Woodstock

MAN VOTED THE GRUMPIEST PERSON IN AMERICA

May 2, 2021April 28, 2021 by Brick Rivers

FOR THE 25TH YEAR IN A ROW! When WWN learned that the American Misanthropic Institute had picked their 2021 “Grumpiest Man in America” winner and that he was a multiple … READ MORE

Categories Headlines

CHAOS IN CALIFORNIA GUN CLUB!

May 3, 2021April 19, 2021 by Brick Rivers

MEMBERS PANIC AS AN UNARMED COUPLE IS SPOTTED! Police in Glenfarthy, California descended in force on the “Stand Your Ground Gun Club” shooting range after panicked members began calling 911 … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags hippies

GNARLY MONSTER SURFACES IN NYC!

March 29, 2021 by Brick Rivers

NOBODY NOTICES When WEEKLY WORLD NEWS heard rumors of a gnarly monster stalking New York City, we began to investigate. Unfortunately, no New Yorkers had heard of this prehistoric creature. … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants

ATTACK OF THE WEREMEN!

June 15, 2021March 15, 2021 by Brick Rivers

UNLIKE WEREWOLVES, WEREMEN ARE WOLVES WHO CHANGE INTO HUMANS WHEN THE MOON IS FULL AND BRIGHT! The floor of the darkened forest, with its thin tendrils of mist grasping towards … READ MORE

Categories Mutants Tags werewolves
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