BALTIMORE, MD – Bat Boy’s attempts at fitting in for the holidays have again failed miserably.
In the usual shopping center custom, the White Marsh Mall in Baltimore started their month-long Santa Claus residence. Part of America’s Christmas tradition includes children being brought to malls to sit on Santa’s knee and list off their requested items.
A lull in the line occurred when the children heard Best Buy had just received a shipment of Rock Band 2. Bat Boy, hiding in the cover of the giant Christmas tree, saw his one chance and took it. He scurried up to Santa, shrieking with excitement, and tried to hand over his guano-covered list.
Seeing only a blur of big pointy ears and sharp teeth, the mall Santa took off at high-speed, making it to the food court before tripping over his baggy red pants and crashing head first into the Cinnabon stand.
Weekly World News retrieved Bat Boy’s list, which consisted only of crudely-drawn pictures, including:
Nerf gun
Mario Kart Wii
Complete ‘The Naked Brothers Band’ DVD set
‘Wall-E’ sleeping bag


  1. The action taken to local and national disasters is noble but it's a real shame that so many people take advantage of the negative situations.
    I mean everytime there is an earthquake, a flood, an oil spill – there's always a group of heartless people who rip off tax payers.
    This is in response to reading that 4 of Oprah Winfreys "angels" got busted ripping off the system. Shame on them!

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