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WWN NEWS – ALL JETPACKS, ALL THE TIME


NEW YORK –  The Jetpack story that broke on WWN is gaining international attention.  The U.N. has convened to discuss.

The United Nations Security Council met last night to discuss the news that the United States military is purchasing over 1 million jetpacks.   Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon called an emergency session last night due to the controversy swirling around the jetpacks.

“Member nations are all worried about this jetpack technology that the United States has kept secret from the international community,” said Ki-Moon. “We have received word for Russian spies that the United States is planning on using the new jetpack technology to wage war against at number of nations utilizing large battalions of Flying Infantry.”

Former Ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton, spoke with WWN last night and confirmed that the Bush Administration ordered the 1 million jetpacks back in November, 2007.  “We never would have thought that they would be in full production so soon. But this is good news for America. We’ll get them from the ground and the air.”

The Obama Administration, which has come under fire for its use of drone attacks in Afghanistan, is now coming under fire for the potential use of a Jetpack Army to shoot down the Taliban from the sky.

“It’s not fair!” screamed Taliban leader  Osama Bin Heidi.  “They cheat!”

WWN will be sneaking into the Security Council meeting and will report back to our readers.

We have learned that Ph.D. Ape has also been called in to consult with the makers of The Martin Jetpack.  “We want to make it go higher, faster and we want to make it cheaper.  Ph.D. Ape will help us achieve our goals, ” said Martin van Martin of Martin Jetpacks.

In more news. Mediaite wrote about the ace reporting of Frank Lake.

And Keith Olbermann dedicated half his show to Jetpack-Gate. Here’s an excerpt.

WWN will stay on this breaking story long after it has been beaten into the ground.