PALO ALTO – Mark Zuckerberg launched a new website today, BabyBook, which will link all newborns and toddlers.

There are almost 500 million users of Facebook, but there’s a big market of potential users that are being overlooked – babies.  So, Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, has launched a new social network solely for new-born babies and toddlers (up until Age 3).

“Babies, obviously can’t speak, but that doesn’t mean they can’t communicate.  And having a site dedicated to babies, which allows them to share information about diapers, bottles, pabulum and to dish on their parents.. is something that I’ve thought about for years.”


Zuckerberg believes that babies born in 2010 will spend most of their lives on the internet, instead of in the real, physical world.  “It’s important for them to get an online presence from the moment of birth.   There are a lot of people who say that if you are not on Facebook – you do not exist.  Well, I’m just taking this to the logical next step… if you are not on BabyBook, then were you really born?”

So, how in the world will this work?

Zuckerberg and his crack BabyBook team have come up with an advanced graphic BabyInterface that will allow babies who are even just one day old to get onto the internet and set up an account.  “Sure parents can help out, but they don’t need to.   The site is very baby intuitive.   We baby tested it for the last two years.  It works.”

Launched just two days ago, already 7% of babies born in the United States have BabyBook account.  The company says that they hope to have 30% of babies signed up by this time next year and by 2015 they believe that every person born on planet earth will have a BabyBook account.  “We need to get everyone connected.  That’s the way will achieve world peace – through BabyBook”

What happens when a BabyBook user gets too old (age 4) to use his or her account anymore?

When a toddler turns 4 – we will immediately and seamlessly turn their BabyBook account into a Facebook Account.  They will then be able to use the standard QWERTY keypads by then.

Not everyone is happy about the launch.  Etrade is suing Zuckerberg, claiming that they had the idea for babies using the internet and that Zuckerberg stole it from them.  “Etrade? Give me a break, I can buy and sell them a hundred times.  They’re so lame they had to pay Lindsay Lohan off.”

There is some talk about perhaps having embryos get accounts on BabyBook… but it’s just talk at this moment.  In the meantime,

Get on BabyBook, baby!!

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