A MEDICAL MARVEL! TAMPA, FL – 28-year-old Susan Wright, a veteran dolphin trainer at Ocean Realm, who recently married the love of her life, Squeaky, announced to her friends and family that she is pregnant! Some family members celebrated by jumping into the aquarium with the happy couple, while other family members seemed to have … READ MORE
RESIDENTS FEAR FOR THE LIFE OF THEIR GIANT! Citizens of the Jolly Green Valley in Minnesota woke up to find a gigantic green foot floating in the Jolly Green River, severed at the ankle. It took five tow trucks to haul it to shore. “Dead weight,” the Police Chief of Jolly Green Valley sighed. Residents … READ MORE
DID THE INVENTORS STEAL THEM FROM NATURE? Scientists discovered a new species of life in the lower levels of the earth’s soil—and they may look familiar! The team of scientists from Pointmere University in Australia found the creatures, no larger than a pinpoint, in the deepest reaches of soil, more than 40 meters (140 feet) … READ MORE
“AFTER I BRANDED MY KID SISTER, MY PARENTS SUSPECTED SOMETHING WAS WRONG,” SAYS THE BEAUTY. In the 1800s, there was a figure in the Wild West that produced both shudders and smiles when talked about. His name was “Wild” Willie Feener. While fellow outlaws Jessie James, The Younger Brothers and Sam Bass seemed to court … READ MORE
“I WAS HOPING FOR POWER TOOLS,” SAYS DISAPPOINTED HUBBY When word leaked out that a woman had given birth to a spatula, Weekly World News was on the scene. In the sleepy, rural town of Balloon Falls, Pennsylvania, history had just been made…or not. Arriving in the waiting room, WWN talked to the head surgeon, … READ MORE
Lady Sees All After Lightning Strike “The world is preoccupied with so many other matters.” Mary Denford is sitting on the trunk of her car, smoking a Pall Mall. “It started with the impeachment. Then the pandemic. Then the protests. Through all of this, people stopped paying close attention to what they were watching.” Denford flicks … READ MORE
“I ATE A LOT OF BEANS SO I COULD SHOW MY TRUE PATRIOTISM,” SAYS LOCAL ORGANIZER. With the pandemic rearing its ugly head, more and more towns cancelled their 4th of July fireworks displays. It was a healthy, responsible thing to do. But, more and more small towns, like Wynott, South Dakota, found a way … READ MORE
“I’VE NEVER SEEN A HOUSE ACTUALLY SPRINT,” SAYS POLICE CHIEF When Weekly World News was contacted by world-famous “Ghost Destroyer” Hans Von Booten about a possessed house about to be exorcised by the maverick exorcist priest, Father Jules Crusher, we knew we had to be there. When Weekly World News arrived, we were greeted by … READ MORE
“The numbers aren’t good. But songs aren’t numbers,” said Sal Donato, our resident troubadour. “I mean, songs are numbers, sort of. People say ‘Play another number’ or ‘Play that number again.’ But they’re not numbers in the way that statistics are numbers, like coronavirus cases. I mean, cases are people, and people aren’t just statistics. … READ MORE
Ordinary Household Mirror Opens to Not-ToO-Bad Dimension! The Miller family of St. Paul, Minnesota, noticed something strange about the mirror in an upstairs bathroom. “It would shimmer when you looked in it, and if we listened closely we could hear a high-pitched noise,” said Melanie Miller, 49, who moved into the house on Ferris Lane … READ MORE