TRANCED-OUT PILOT Doesn’t Remember a Thing! When Pine Airlines Flight 389 got into trouble just before it was scheduled to begin its initial descent into Detroit, the flight attendants felt sure that the pilot would handle things. Then they discovered that the pilot—along with the co-pilot—were intoxicated due to what they described as “laced aspirin.” … READ MORE
“MY GAS MILEAGE WAS ON THE LOW SIDE. DIDN’T THINK MUCH OF IT.“ Arizona truck stop patrons were stunned earlier this week when driver Jeff Barry pulled into the Gas ‘n Chow just over the border from Utah. A large boulder was lodged under his trailer. Snug up against the axle, it looked as if … READ MORE
U.S. SPACE FORCE DESTROYED MOST OF THE ASTEROID BEFORE IT HIT EARTH! PEORIA, IL – NASA representatives confirmed to Weekly World News that Asteroid 2019XPX5 entered the Earth’s atmosphere early this morning at 3:38 am (CDT). The U.S. Space Force immediately fired lasers at the asteroid, using weapons created by Elon Musk. It was a … READ MORE
IT STARTED WITH AN EXPIRED LICENSE The child’s tale of Rip Van Winkle tells of a man who settled down for a nap and woke up years later, to find the world had moved on around him. One U.S. man and one trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles caused him to become the modern-day … READ MORE
BUT SPACE FORCE IS READY TO TAKE ACTION TO STOP IT! HOUSTON, TX – Weekly World News met with chief NASA scientist, Banesh Bannerjee, to discuss the latest on the asteroid that is hurtling toward Earth on election day. In August, scientists predicted that Asteroid 2019XPX5 will hit earth on election day. They weren’t sure … READ MORE
Hibernating Man goes to bed in November wakes up in April SPOKANE, Wash. – Dwayne Flowter is sick of cold weather and freezing his butt off in the snow, so he takes a holiday every winter — by hibernating! Incredibly, the 59-year-old bachelor can keep himself in a deep sleep for weeks and months at … READ MORE
GHOST ADAPTS TO THE PANDEMIC! Bloody Mary, the legendary ghost that slumber parties and teenage make-out sessions have long speculated about is in fact not only true, but the spectre has decided to start her very own food delivery service. “It’s like door dash, only instead of downloading an app, say my name 3 times … READ MORE
To The World’s Greatest Readers, A heartfelt THANK YOU to all of you who have supported our Kickstarter campaign and all of you who spend time on our site and social media. We appreciate you standing alongside us as we continue to grow and expand. Bat Boy salutes you all! This Kickstarter campaign came about … READ MORE
“Enough, Already,” Says Human History By any standard, this has been a busy year: pandemic, election,natural disasters, and more. But that’s about to end. “Starting next month,” says Leanne Artrusco, a scientist at the U.S.Department of Records, “there will be no more news.” HOW??? Whenever Artrusco makes this announcement, as she did during a virtualconference … READ MORE
A Cleveland man, who wishes to stay anonymous, said last week that the Lake Erie Monster saved his pet dog after he was thrown overboard. Later, the man was shocked to learn that the legendary creature is NOT a fan of the Cleveland Browns! The man was on his weekly fishing trip, with his trusty … READ MORE