BUT SPACE FORCE IS READY TO TAKE ACTION TO STOP IT!
HOUSTON, TX – Weekly World News met with chief NASA scientist, Banesh Bannerjee, to discuss the latest on the asteroid that is hurtling toward Earth on election day.
In August, scientists predicted that Asteroid 2019XPX5 will hit earth on election day. They weren’t sure exactly where it was going to hit but estimated that it was going to hit Russia (somewhere in Siberia) or Peoria, IL. As of October 7th, 2020, it appears that the asteroid will miss Russia altogether and the asteroid is “making a beeline for Peoria,” as Dr. Bannerjee told Weekly World News.
“We have been watching the asteroid closely and making calculations every hour on the hours,” Dr. Bannerjee said. It appears that the asteroid’s trajectory has changed. It either will hit Peoria or it will miss Earth entirely.
HOW BIG AN IMPACT?!
Scientists are not sure if it will be a major impact or not. “It could be the size of an oversized watermelon OR it could be the size of The Statue of Liberty, we aren’t sure right now. It won’t be any bigger than that,” said Dr. Bannerjee.
But even an impact of an asteroid chunk the size of a watermelon could so some serious damage. That’s why the government has deployed The Space Force to go out into space and destroy the asteroid before it enters our atmosphere.
“This will be one of the first assignments of the newly minted Space Force,” said Captain George Behning. “Our mission. To save Peoria. Will we be successful. Damn right, we will be! We must preserve Rich Pryor’s birthplace!”
To ensure the success of the mission, The U.S. Space Force has teamed up with Elon Musk to quickly develop a powerful asteroid-destroying laser that can be attached to a spaceship.
“Elon Musk is going to be a big help. The man is crazy and I don’t like the way he drinks his coffee,” said Captain Behning, “but together we will stop this thing! We must preserve the birthplace of the moldy grapefruit that gave us penicillin!”
THE ASTEROID BOUNCE?
Elon Musk’s top engineer, Maya Coppalotta, spoke with Weekly World News off-the-record about Asteroid 2019XPX5. She feels strongly that the asteroid WILL hit Peoria, but that it will bounce off and fly right back into space.
How could that possibly happen?
Asteroid 2019XPX5 is not your ordinary asteroid. “We have been examining photos provided by NASA and we believe that this asteroid is wholly unique, Coppalotta said. “It is made of a substance that is similar to what we see in a SkyBall. It is extremely elastic and it very well could be made of rubber.”
An asteroid made of rubber?
“Yes. I believe it is. We will try to annihilate it before it enters the atmosphere, but if I lived in Peoria, I wouldn’t worry. IF Asteroid 2019XPX5 hits, I would just have my cellphone ready to captures the biggest bounce in the history of the world.
Weekly World News will have a reporter in Peoria on the 3rd, joining award-winning journalists at Peoria Journal Star, to witness the event.