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I’m madder than a drag queen who’s run out of duct tape! Poor Miss California deserved to win that beauty contest.

Then tubby twinkie Perez Hilton – who doesn’t look anything like his skinny rich sister, by the way! – asked the lovely lady if she believed in gay marriage. Of course, she said no, Perez got his pocket hankie in a knot – and Miss California lost the contest!

First of all: why is a lavender laddie like Perez Hilton judging a female beauty contest? Isn’t that like letting an A-rab pick the Pope?

Second, why is he asking crazy questions about gay marriage? Whatever happened to asking about something unimportant, like “world peace”?
(Gays don’t like world peace cuz then we wouldn’t need soldiers in nice uniforms anymore!)

I don’t understand why Perez Hilton has a job when millions of Americans are out of work. He has a face for radio and a voice for print, but there he is, all over the place. He’s just a funny looking fat boy who I bet got bullied a lot as a kid and now he’s a bully himself.

Meanwhile, I think Our Lord is pretty happy with Miss California right now, except for the whole “going around in public in skimpy clothes”
part. And I hear she’s going out with that pothead swimmer guy, which doesn’t sound too Christian to me, either.

But Miss California will end up with her own tv show and a millionaire husband, and Perez Hilton will be left alone with his Liberace records and his pink poodle.

I’d sign up to slap the little tootie-fruity around – but I’m pretty sure he’d like it!