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I’m madder than a hippie chick who’s run out of hemp tampons!

Did you know Al Bore left his lights on during that stupid Earth Hour on Saturday night? It’s true: over at his billion square foot mansion, Crazy Al was running up his electric bill when he was telling the rest of us to sit in the dark like cavemen!

I’m guessing the light was from Al Gore’s open fridge!

These pinkos are such hypocrites. The Communist in Chief can’t even talk in public without reading off a plugged-in machine, but he wants us to shut off our power!

Without electricity, Oprah would be roasting her corndogs over a bonfire. Without electricity, George Clooney’s illegal Mexican houseboy would be pounding his dirty shirts on a rock in a river.

Meanwhile, everyone’s ignoring really important problems. I hear they’re letting all those crazy Arabs and Paleostynians out of Gitmo, and bringing them to live here in the U.S. of A. Just what we need: more foreign cab drivers who don’t know where they’re going.

Except they won’t have to work – the Teleprompter Kid is gonna give all these terrorists welfare and whatnot when they get here! Then again, we’ve been giving them fancy meals and letting them sit around doing nothing for years now, so what’s the difference? Instead of going to court, they’ll get to watch Judge Judy all day like all the other welfare bums.

At this rate, these terrorists will be working for ACORN in the next election, and asking Obama to buy them new houses and cars.

They should change the name “Gitmo” to “Get More”!