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MITT ROMNEY HIRED AS PRESIDENT OF DISNEYLAND

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Mitt Romney has moved on from the election and has taken the job as President of Disneyland. 

After his devastating loss, the former Massachusetts governor was supposedly drowning his sorrows in gallons of low-fat chocolate milk.  But he’s gotten over it.  He went to Disneyland and… took it over.

“Mitt has always wanted to be the King of the Magic Kingdom.  He thought it would be the United States, but he’ll have a lot more fun in Disneyland,” reportedly said his wife, Ann Romney.

Romney was seen enjoying himself at the park.  He went on rides with a number of park visitors.

Even though you are only supposed to go to Disneyland when you win, Romney said he’s changing all that.  “Disneyland is now for losers,” a source close to Romney said.

Romney’s first order of business: he fired Goofy.  And Goofy wasn’t happy.

“Goofy reminds Mitt of Barack Obama for some reason,” said a Disneyland executive who was also fired.  “He took one look at Goofy and threw him out.”

Romney is also replacing images of Mickey Mouse with his own image.  Mitt thinks he looks great on the Disneyland Ferris Wheel.

Democrats think the 65-year-old former Republican presidential nominee is a perfect fit for Disneyland.  “I think all Republicans should go to Disneyland,” said Nancy Pelosi.  “They’re already living in Fantasyland.”

Mitt has been President at the park for only two days and already has increased profits at the park by 300%.  Hmmm….