Plano, TX – Another sexy Russian, Anna Fermanova, has been arrested in Texas and charged with spying for Russia.
Just weeks after breaking up a Russian spy ring, federal authorities have charged Fermanova with trying to smuggle three night-vision rifle sights into Russia. The sexy 24 year-old was caught with the goggles, worth $15,000, trying to board a Moscow bound flight at JFK Airport.
The Feds took her into custody and “worked her over real good,” said Federal agent Jerry Merkowsky. “We had to stay on her all night, she wouldn’t break.” After Federal agents took turns interrogating Fermanova, she finally broke down.
Fermanova, a budding cosmetologist, said she wanted to take the night-vision goggles back to Russia so that her husband could sell them to hunters. Apparently, it’s impossible to find decent night-vision equipment in Russia and who better to get the state-of-the-art technology than a graduate of The Ogle School of Hair, Skin and Nails.
Scott Palmer, Fermanova’s lawyer, confirmed that she removed the identifying labels on the scopes and also blacked out the serial numbers. Fermanova explained, “my husband doesn’t like to look at serial numbers, especially on weapons he sells to hunters. He gets nervous when he sees numbers, that’s all.”
The other sexy Russian spy, 28-year-old Anna Chapman (the “Lady in Red”), was arrested last month in New York and then returned to Russia under a “spy swap exchange.” There is no evidence that the two women knew one another (or had sex with each other), but Federal agents are investigating, looking for video evidence.
Vladimir Putin intends to swap Fermanova for 24-year-old, Alina Kabayeva, a Russian gymnast that Putin was accused of having an affair with. Putin said, “Alina’s body got locked into an odd position when she was chasing a red ball for me and… now she’s no use to Russia. I’m sure Al Gore can figure out something to do with her in America.” Here is the frozen Alina:
Putin plans on forming a Russian rock band, “The Spy Girls,” with Chapman and Fermanova. He will not only manage the group, but he plans on putting on a pink dress and singing lead.
But he’ll have to wait because Fermanova is currently under house in Texas. She is expected to attend court in New York later this month.
Federal agents now have the daunting task of interrogating all the sexy Russian women in Texas. “We expect to arrest and interrogate dozens of them every day. Our agents will sniff them all out,” said agent Merkowsky.