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SUPER VOLCANO!

YELLOWSTONE PARK, WY – Scientists announced that a super volcano exists underneath Yellowstone National Park.
Scientists recently made known that a super volcano lurks just below the surface of the ground in Yellowstone National Park. This subterranean behemoth has not made a peep in the past 640,000 years but scientists speculate that this molten monster is sure to erupt…eventually. And when it does we are all doomed for sure.
Upon eruption the super volcano is predicted to spew lava and ash 25 plus miles into the air. The magnitude of the eruption will be thousands of times more powerful than that of the Mount St. Helens disaster in 1980. The eruption will also put the Icelandic disaster to shame by wiping out most of United States, leaving only 1/3 of the country inhabitable.
With the impending doom of the super volcano, the US government has decided to initiate Project Cover-up. Within the next two years the US plans to build an explosion proof, park wide bio-dome that will protect the rest of the country in the event of a large scale eruption.
“We have to preemptively strike against Mother Nature just like we did with Iraq,” explained General Patraeus, who has ordered the US Army Corps Engineers (ACE) to begin the design and construction of the structure.

ACE has struck a deal with Ashai, the Japanese corporation that manufactures Dragontail, for the glass exoskeleton that will surround the entire park. Dragontail is a super strong scratch and explosive resistant glass. Ashai’s main competition is CorningWare, who produces Gorilla Glass. Gorilla Glass is supplied to many flat panel television manufactures like Samsung, Sony and Insignia and touch screen smart phone manufacturers like HTC, Motorola, and Apple.
“We are every excited to start this project,” said Saruwatari Michiyo, head of PR and Marketing at Ashai,the amount of revenue that we will receive from this project will allow our R & D department to leap light years ahead of Corning and their wimpy Gorilla Glass.”
Parks officials assured the public that the ecosystem of Yellowstone would not be disrupted by the construction. They continued by explaining that the general public would still be able to enter the famous National Park. The only difference being that there will now only be four entrances, one at the northeast, northwest, southeast and southwest corners of the park. In addition to the limited ingress and egress, all visitors will be required to sign a disclaimer upon entering, acknowledging that in the event of an eruption all exits will be sealed and they will be trapped inside to fend for themselves.

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12 thoughts on “SUPER VOLCANO!”

  1. I would advise visitors to the park to take a packed lunch and drinking water. If it should blow, who knows how long you may be inside. And maybe some cream to treat burns as well.

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  2. Is it true? half and half. Yellowstone is the largest hot spot on any land mass on Earth. Under all those geysers and hot springs lies a virtual ocean of molten lava. It is also over due for a mega eruption. That said there is no bio dome being built. When the volcano (for lack of a better word) under Yellowstone erupts it will take out north America from the Rockies to the Mississippi River and on up into Canada. Life as we no it on this planet will pretty much come to an end.

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  3. This is not a joke. Google Yellowstone caldera. It is a super volcano, but scientists don't know when it will erupt next. The last time was over 100,000 years ago (I think)

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  4. Total joke…mankind could never construct a dome (or any structure) able to contain a regular volcano let alone a supervolcano!!! Wake up people…what do you expect from Weekly World News?!?!? LOL funny story, though

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