I’M MADDER THAN A HORNET IN A BEER CAN OVER THIS KIM KARDASHIAN BALLOON NONSENSE!

Folks, I’m so steamed up right now I could melt the paint off a battleship! They’ve gone and done it this time. Plopped a 60-foot Kim Kardashian balloon right smack in the middle of Times Square like it’s some kind of national treasure! I saw the pictures, and let me tell you, I nearly choked … READ MORE

MY AMERICA – GIVE ZELENSKY A GOOD KICK IN THE PANTS

I’m madder than a porcupine in a balloon factory over this Zelensky-Trump-Vance circus in the Oval Office last week!  That meeting got my blood pressure higher than a cat’s back in a dog pound. I’m talking about that so-called “meeting” between President Trump and that Ukrainian fella, Zelensky. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love … READ MORE

Man Must Buy Landfill After Marie Kondo’d His Drawers, throws out Bitcoin Wallet

Sparking Joy, Losing Millions: Man Must Buy Landfill After Marie Kondo’d His Drawers, throws out Bitcoin Wallet Lost Bitcoin Wallet Turns Minimalist Dream Into Nightmare A man who once prided himself on decluttering his life now faces an expensive reality—he accidentally threw away a hard drive containing millions in Bitcoin. Inspired by Marie Kondo’s philosophy, … READ MORE

Chinese Human Resources Punishes Police Dog for Sleeping at Work—The Internet Can Relate To A corgi

Police corgi Caught “SLEEPING” During Shift In a shocking turn of events, a Chinese police corgi has reportedly been disciplined for being “bored” on the job, proving that no one—not even man’s best friend—is safe from workplace scrutiny. The canine, a highly trained K9 officer, was seen yawning excessively and showing signs of disinterest during … READ MORE

Exodus Fires Entire Band, Then Rehires Itself

“Gary Holt Has Parted Ways with Gary Holt… and Also Welcomes Back Gary Holt” In what is being described as the most Groundhog Day-esque moment in thrash metal history, Exodus has fired its entire lineup—including and especially Gary Holt—only to immediately rehire itself. The official statement, released via the band’s Instagram page, read: “Exodus have … READ MORE

LEGENDARY “LOST” ITALIAN WESTERNS FOUND!

BRICK RIVERS ON “THE CLOWN WITH NO NAME” TRILOGY’S SURVIVAL. In 1967, American movie audiences flocked to theaters to see “The Man With No Name” spaghetti western trilogy, released in Italy in 1964 – 1966. “A Fistful of Dollars,” “For A Few Dollars More” and “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly” reinvented the Western genre and made an international movie … READ MORE

What happens to spring if Punxsutawney Phil the hedgehog retires?

Does Phil the Hedgehog really predict when spring will start?  After years of adventure and excitement, Phil the hedgehog of “Punxsutawney Phil” fame has finally decided it was time to retire. He had been the star of The Groundhog Club’s Inner Circle, thrilling audiences on Gobbler’s Knob by having to get out of bed every … READ MORE