Year: 2020

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE BALLET!

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NEWLY FORMED USA BALLET COMPANY TO REVIVE THIS SCI-FI CLASSIC Moe Fangule, the President of the newly formed “USA Ballet Company, Inc.” has announced the company’s first project, a fully orchestrated, choreographed adaptation of the 1959 Ed Wood stinker film, “Plan 9 From Outer Space.” “It was a no-brainer,” explained Fangule. “It received ‘Worst Film … READ MORE

LUST IN SPACE

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CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – Forget the scandal about love-struck astronauts on earth. Rumors of improper fraternization in space originally brought sharp denials from NASA. But after Weekly World News pressed NASA, they finally admitted that the couple did hook-up. “It’s true that a male and female astronaut had relations on the International Space Station,” acknowledged … READ MORE

MAN ORDERS GERMAN SHEPHERD ON-LINE…

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WINDS UP WITH 57-YEAR-OLD MAN! Oliver Hasper had gone through a very bad year. His wife left him and took the children. Broken (and broke) after the divorce, he decided to buy a dog as a companion. Not having a pet store or a dog shelter within 100 miles of his small spread in Earworm, … READ MORE

LESTER CAINE REPORTS ON A TINY MERMAID!

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Award-Winning Weekly World News reporter, Lester Caine, takes to the streets to get reactions to the breaking story that a mermaid was found in a sardine can.

Lester Caine continues to break the stories you can only find on Weekly World News. He is the only reporter in America you can trust.

Here’s his latest report:

NIGHTBALL ROUNDUP: FULL OF FULTON!

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The result in yesterday’s nightball match surprised even veteran observers of the sport, with the Fulton Rangers defeating the Chalkridge Giants by a score of 11 (C) – 12 (B). “We hung in there,” said Gerritt Klammer, Fulton’s captain, who until yesterday had not recovered fully from a cut ear sustained during a non-conference match … READ MORE

ZEUS RETURNS!

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IN A HOT AIR BALLOON Zeus, of Greek mythology fame, has long been one of literature and culture’s favorite figures. But until this week, nobody actually thought he existed! “I had heard about him, sure,” said Amy Leonard. “Who hasn’t? But I thought he was like Santa Claus or Napoleon, just a made-up person.” Then … READ MORE

YOUNG GIRL SLAYS THE BOOGEYMAN

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JOPLIN, MO – Seven-year-old Kirsten Robbins made history last weekend. She spent several frightful nights defending herself and her five-year-old brother against The Boogeyman. It looked like she would cower under the covers like so many before her, but instead, Kirsten decided to fight back. She fought the boogeyman and she won! It is the … READ MORE

LET THEM EAT TWINKIES!

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According to the Washington Post: “The U.S. Department of Agriculture has taken another whack at former first lady Michelle Obama’s Healthy School lunch push. She had established stricter nutritional standards for school breakfasts and lunches. “On Friday, USDA Deputy Under Secretary Brandon Lipps proposed new rules for the Food and Nutrition Service that would allow … READ MORE

TOASTER PUPS ARE HERE!

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NEW IN THE FROZEN PETS AISLE! The new range of freeze-dried household companions has hit the shelves in the Frozen pets aisle just in time for the holidays, and kids couldn’t be more thrilled! “I told the kids, we couldn’t get a full-time puppy” a mother of four found shopping recently told a reporter, “But … READ MORE

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