LOHAN TO TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS

WASHINGTON – Lindsay Lohan has been called to testify before a House panel on a new Jobs bill.
Following the successful testimony of Stephen Colbert today in front of the House committee on farm jobs and illegal immigrants, Lindsay Lohan received a subpoena to testify before Congress about jobs, small Businesses and a new stimulus package.
“We want to bring more attention to the issues and get more young people involved,” said Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. “What better way then to have all the top celebrities, and Google Trends, come and testify before Congress. It’s a watershed moment for Congress.”
Lohan will be advocating for small businesses and trying to get the Congress to enact policies that will help them create jobs. “What in hell does Lohan know about Jobs?” said a incredulous Eric Cantor, R-Virg. “This is an outrage. It’s making a mockery of Congress.”
“Oh please, Congress doesn’t need my help. It’s doing fine making a mockery of themselves on their own,” said Lohan.
Judging by the response to the Colbert appearance today, celebrities testifying on subjects they have no idea about might become standard practice in Congress.
Audience members laughed and the house Judiciary subcommittee had a blast. “Boy, it was just so much fun having Colbert here,” said Rep. Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif., chairwoman of the subcommittee, who invited Colbert to testify. “These Congressional meetings are usually so boring and today… we got to have some fun! Yay!”
Pelosi has already issued subpoenas to other pop culture icons, including Kim Kardashian (HealthCare Reform), Spencer & Heidi (War in Afghanistan), Justin Bieber (Homeland Security) and Paris Hilton (Obesity).
Who knew Congress could be so hip and cool?  Yay!

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5 thoughts on “LOHAN TO TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS”

  1. It is about time they get someone to testify in front of congress who is half way qualified. Lindsay will teach Nancy Pelosi a thing or two

    Reply
  2. Pelosi has got to be one of this almost all liberal politicians inside the region. It's hard with regard to myself in order to believe exactly how people can reelect her within their particular proper intellect.

    Reply

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