“IF YOU CAN’T DEPEND ON YOUR GOVERNMENT, YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON MYTHIC CREATURES!” When Weekly World News last left The Jersey Devil, he was rehabilitating himself and his monstrous reputation by conducting tours of the mysterious New Jersey Pine Barrens. “Once the virus hit New Jersey, I was out of a job,” says the … READ MORE
MONTANA – Bigfoot has gone missing! He surprised everyone when left the campaign trail – where he is running as Bat Boy’s VP. Many people were shocked to learn that Bigfoot left the bunker in West Virginia. Bat Boy and his campaign staff have been hunkered down there during the pandemic. “We were all sitting … READ MORE
Dark rumors about a creature capable of existing in the dead waters of The Great Salt Lake have been circulating since the late 1800s. Wild tales of a creature with a horse head and a crocodile body have been whispered about among local families for years. Even full-sized whales were supposedly relocated to the salty … READ MORE
DR. APE HAS BEEN WORKING WITH HIS TASK FORCE FOR THE LAST SIX WEEKS. HE FEELS LIKE THEY’VE MADE A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH IN THE LAST 48 HOURS. ATLANTA, GA – Ph.D. Ape was sent to The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) by Dr. Fauci and Dr. BIrx six weeks ago. They felt that … READ MORE
RESUMES 2020 ELECTION CAMPAIGN! WASHINGTON DC – After a tense few days, the test results have finally come in. Bat Boy does NOT have coronavirus! Last week, Bat Boy was on Capitol Hill meeting with a number of Senators and members of Congress to discuss his plans to unify the country. Unfortunately, Bat Boy spent … READ MORE
NASHVILLE, TN – Taylor Swift was reportedly knitting booties while in quarantine. Sources close to her tell Weekly World News, that she may be the one expecting a baby. And rumors are that Bat Boy may be the father! Last October, Bat Boy was being chased by the FBI once again – trying to get … READ MORE
CALMING NERVES DURING THE STOCK MARKET SWOON! NEW YORK CITY – Bigfoot Hooker arrived on Wall Street on Thursday, March 12. Since then she has been doing her part to make sure that traders, brokers and investment bankers on Wall Street stay calm and relaxed, “Helen” first took up the profession in Northern Minnesota. But … READ MORE
MOVE OVER, PENIS FISH! HERE COME THE BUTTS! Last year, California was treated to “penis fish.” Today, on the Florida coast, it’s ‘butt fish!’ In December of last year, a storm brought thousands upon thousands of phallic-looking worms washing ashore in Marin County, California. Called “Penis Fish” by locals, these worms were quickly snatched by … READ MORE
ARE WING VOTERS SWING VOTERS? Bats are not allowed to vote. Yet. But if Bat Boy gets his way, we may soon see a change in the nation’s election policies. Campaigning in South Carolina this week in advance of the state’s upcoming primary, Bat Boy announced his desire to explore expanding the vote to include … READ MORE
New ape species discovered in Colorado. LAKE COUNTY, CO – After hiking to the summit of Mount Elbert, zoologist Jeff Sanders knew his career was made when he saw a very unusual primate overturning large stones, looking for grubs to eat. “The creature was about three feet tall,” said Sanders. “It had a humanoid face … READ MORE