DEAD COW ON SHORE WARNING OF ALIEN INVASION

SEATTLE, WA – A dead cow washes ashore with the Mark of the Alien
Late last week a 400-pound cow washed ashore in West Seattle. The animal beached itself near the 5900 block of Beach Drive on Wednesday, Feb. 2. The cow was discovered by two children who were skipping down the beach, hand in hand, singing “Old McDonald Had a Farm”. The two youngsters literally tripped over the beached bovine, both taking face plants in the sand. Upon noticing the dead cow, they immediately screamed and ran home to get their mommy.
Cindy Townson, mother of the two children, unable to believe the story, went to the location where the children found the animal and was instantly concerned by what she saw. Townson, who sits on the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials, took immediate note of The Mark of the Alien that she saw on the hind quarters of the cow.  Townson decided to call WWN today to insure that the public would know of the discovery.
“We have seen this mark before and just recently too, with the mass killings of the fish and birds last month,” explained Townson over the phone, “What concerns me most by this is that the aliens have moved up in the animal kingdom.”
Townson went on to explain that the aliens are clearly getting closer to beginning their all out assault on mankind since they have now figured out how to kill more complex organisms.
“I see this cow as a sign from the aliens, similar to that of when studio head Jack Woltz wakes up to find the severed head of a horse next to him in bed, like in the Godfather. This is most certainly a message being sent to us that the invasion is imminent and forthcoming,” stated Townson, “All inhabitants of earth need to be aware of this. We must stay vigilant if we want to survive this invasion.”
Later that same day the Seattle Police Department Harbor Patrol came by and towed the animal away with a Police boat to the Don Armeni boat ramp where it was picked up by Animal Control.

Authorities are trying to cover up the alien invasion by reporting that the owner of the cow must have dumped the carcass into the Puget Sound after the bovine had died of natural causes. But thanks to Townson’s willingness to share her knowledge we know differently.

15 thoughts on “DEAD COW ON SHORE WARNING OF ALIEN INVASION”

  1. omg how stupid is this? "They immediately screamed then went home to get their mommy"? obviously some old fat guy in his moms basement is creating asinine articles like this

  2. AND the two pictures are totally different. One is a DRY cow on a BEACH, and the other is a SOAKING WET cow at a BOAT DOCK. One is brown on top and fades to creamy white on bottom, and other is dark brown and has distinct spots and marks. And I don't know anybody -even little kids- who still sing Old McDonald.

  3. @ Guy who hates liars – clearly you are stupid. don't you know that often when things are saturated with water they becomes darker. obviously when they dragged the cow back into the water the fur became darker from the water saturating the fur. DUH!!

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