WORLD EXCLUSIVE - Weekly World News has learned that Al Gore has not been having an affair with Laurie David for the past two years, but instead has been involved with rocker Sheryl Crow. Several unemployed Elvis impersonators saw the couple Leaving Las Vegas together.
An insider tells Weekly World News that Gore first fell for Crow when she recommended there be a limitation put on how many toilet paper squares individuals can use in one sitting. An excited Gore was overheard saying, “I’ve had top scientists around the world working on solutions to anthropogenic global warming for years and Sheryl came up with the simplest and most brilliant solution in a few minutes.” Since that day, Gore has carefully monitored the toilet paper squares used by his staff, friends and family. Gore fired one heavy-set publicist when he found out the man had used eleven squares after the Gore entourage made a stop at a Tucson Del Taco.
Gore insiders knew he was smitten with Crow because he would often dance around his hotel room strumming an air guitar and singing All I Wanna Do. Several massage therapists also suspected an affair between the former Vice President and Crow because whenever they did “abdominal work” on the former Vice President, he would often belt out “C’mon, C’mon”.
Laurie David and Crow were partners on Sheryl Crow’s “Stop Global Warming Tour” in 2007 and slept on the same bus as they traveled to college campuses around the country. Apparently, Crow and David both fell for the Gore, but the rocker got her man. Laurie David, however, has not only has denied having an affair with Al Gore but also claims that Sheryl Crow never had an affair with Gore either. “If Sheryl did have an affair with Al behind my back, she’d better stay far away from me. The first cut is the deepest.”
Crow remains an active supporter of Al Gore’s efforts and continues to assail his detractors. In the June issue of Glamour magazine, Crow told Katie Couric that the Tea Partiers and Global Warming deniers were “a bunch of rubes” and that she was worried that the “uneducated” and “angry” could become dangerous. “Knowledge is power, and anything less than that when it comes to anger can be dangerous,” said Crow. When asked by Weekly World News if the knowledge of her affair with Gore would anger his ex-wife Tipper, Crow had no comment, but she did sing a verse of her hit song, “Love is Free.”
Meanwhile, Al Gore continues to avoid reporters’ questions about global warming, Laurie David, massage therapists and now, Sheryl Crow. But he did make a brief statement. “I want to clear the record on a few things. Yes, I did he invent the internet. Yes, Tipper and I were the inspiration for the novel, “Love Story” and yes… Sheryl Crow has asked me to play lead guitar on her next Soak In The Sun, Go Solar Tour.” As Gore walked away, several reporters noticed three toilet paper squares were stuck to the bottom of his right shoe. One reporter yelled out, “Is that your carbon footprint”?
Weekly World News is following this breaking story. We also look forward to hearing Gore shred on his imaginary Fender Stratocaster.