TAX EXTENSION FOR BAT BOY

Posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
By Garrett Hawley

bat_boy_taxes

CHARLESTON, WV – Didn’t get your taxes done in time? Shocked by the long post office lines? Just follow Bat Boy’s lead and file for an extension!

Yes, that’s right, America’s most lovable mutant is resorting to filing for a federal tax extension. Today’s the day, every American’s taxes are due and the post offices are full of last-minute filers. This apparently includes mutant Americans.

Dave Liu, a West Virginia resident, was standing in line two spots behind Bat Boy at the Big Tyler Road post office this morning. “I have to say, I’ve seen some weird things in my time, but that may have been the weirdest. Here’s all these grumpy looking adults in line, on break from work, and up pops this shirtless, pointy-eared little kid. I started looking around, thinking we were on some hidden camera TV show, but I realized he was the real deal.”

As substantiated by other eyewitnesses, it only took a few minutes before Bat Boy began to get antsy and upset. “He was pulling on his ears, jumping up and down, stamping his feet. He starts muttering to himself, real quiet like, and then got loud real quick,” said Latoya Williams. “Ooo, I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it!”

Finally, Bat Boy flew into a rage, pouncing onto the nearby wall and climbing up to the ceiling. Shrieking his lungs out, he tore his paperwork to shreds and scattered it across the crowd before escaping through the ventilation system. He was later spotted stealing tax extension forms out of a law office’s open window.

What could Bat Boy possibly be reporting income on? Weekly World News believes it may be over residuals he received for the peak guano he discovered. But given the mutant’s attempts to help Henry Paulson save America’s economy, it is doubtful Bat Boy’s paperwork will be examined closely.


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6 Comments For This Post

  1. glen99 says:

    Bat Boy should have used FileLater.com. That's the best place to file an extension online. It takes only a few minutes.

  2. signofthetimes says:

    Ahh Bat Boy, you're still my son…and a boy after my heart. Make the piRates wait for their pay wish I'd seen you doing this before I'd already sent mine in.

  3. greyhawk says:

    Excuse me, I know the Charleston post office and that is not it. That's Clarksburg WV, get your facts straight.

  4. death says:

    put a shirt on

  5. deathlich22 says:

    put a shirt on gezz

  6. toby says:

    For all the great things this litle guy has done for America, he deserves a break!

2 Trackbacks For This Post

  1. Imagine my rapture « Chimichangas at Sunset says:

    [...] crisis in the midwest. Yes, I do know the Weekly World News offers stories online [see, "Tax Extension for Bat Boy"], but there was something so very special about having a new printed version in my [...]

  2. shepherd of public opinion « Your religion is false! says:

    [...] Miley Cyrus were not hurtful. And Weekly World News is in all sorts of trouble, which means that Bat Boy most likely did not get a tax [...]

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