CHARLESTON, WV – Didn’t get your taxes done in time? Shocked by the long post office lines? Just follow Bat Boy’s lead and file for an extension!
Yes, that’s right, America’s most lovable mutant is resorting to filing for a federal tax extension. Today’s the day, every American’s taxes are due and the post offices are full of last-minute filers. This apparently includes mutant Americans.
Dave Liu, a West Virginia resident, was standing in line two spots behind Bat Boy at the Big Tyler Road post office this morning. “I have to say, I’ve seen some weird things in my time, but that may have been the weirdest. Here’s all these grumpy looking adults in line, on break from work, and up pops this shirtless, pointy-eared little kid. I started looking around, thinking we were on some hidden camera TV show, but I realized he was the real deal.”
As substantiated by other eyewitnesses, it only took a few minutes before Bat Boy began to get antsy and upset. “He was pulling on his ears, jumping up and down, stamping his feet. He starts muttering to himself, real quiet like, and then got loud real quick,” said Latoya Williams. “Ooo, I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it!”
Finally, Bat Boy flew into a rage, pouncing onto the nearby wall and climbing up to the ceiling. Shrieking his lungs out, he tore his paperwork to shreds and scattered it across the crowd before escaping through the ventilation system. He was later spotted stealing tax extension forms out of a law office’s open window.
What could Bat Boy possibly be reporting income on? Weekly World News believes it may be over residuals he received for the peak guano he discovered. But given the mutant’s attempts to help Henry Paulson save America’s economy, it is doubtful Bat Boy’s paperwork will be examined closely.