WASHINGTON - Federal authorities have confirmed that Chuck Norris, working with the CIA, was the man killed Osama Bin Laden!
The leader of al Qaeda, the terrorist network behind the September 11, 2001, attacks on the United States. U.S. officials said that their forces have the body of bin Laden. Officials said that the man, working with the CIA who killed Osama bin Laden was none other than:
Chuck Norris led the charge into the bin Laden compound. He was firing his weapon, using all his martial arts skills to get past bin Laden’s guards.
“Chuck was incredible,” said CIA agent John Comito. “He took down about one hundred guards, and then he broke into the back room, cornered bin Laden and shot him in the head. Chuck was amazing!”
The Saudi-born zealot commanded an organization run like a rogue multinational firm, experts said, with subsidiaries operating secretly in dozens of countries, plotting terror, raising money and recruiting young Muslim men — even boys — from many nations to its training camps in Afghanistan.
But he was no match for Chuck Norris and the U.S.A.!!!
Hundreds of people arrived at the White House late Sunday night and chanted, “USA! USA! Chuck Norris. USA!” They then chanted, “Hey, hey, goodbye!” in reference to the demise of bin Laden and then spontaneously sang the national anthem.
This is roughly how it went down:
Here’s how he takes on many bad guys at once:
above drawing by Zack Wallenfang… check out his work here.