SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ – Sharks celebrates the new season of Shark Week on the Jersey Shore.
Dun, dun… dun, dun… Shark Week is back on the Discovery Channel! The channel introduced a live “Shark Cam” at 12:30pm ET today. A great white shark, anxious to become a reality star, kicked off the week in a big way by going after the cast of Jersey Shore.
Snooki got away from the shark (but not the cops), but The Situation and JWoww were not so lucky. The great white actually came ashore and grabbed The Situation as he was about to put more hair gel on his head. JWoww was busy telling fans how to be a guidette when the great white snagged her.
The Great White, who nicknamed himself The Schmoop, thrashed around with the two Jersey Shore stars in his jaws for about a half-hour, delighting both Discovery fans and MTV fans alike. He then chewed them both up and spit them out. Governor Chris Christie and New Jersey Italian-Americans celebrated the demise of the Jersey Shore stars by setting off fireworks and by giving The Schmoop a GPS Jersey Shore Locator to help him find DJ Pauly and the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.
The Schmoop, who spoke through a Shark Translator (Fonzi), told fans what the initials G.T.L.T., often used on the show, meant: Guido Tastes Like Tuna.
Here’s a Shark Attack Survival Guide: