I’m happier than a Labrador Retriever at a wading pool!
After all these years, Ted Kennedy is finally dead! Yahoo!! It took him long enough – even in a nation full of gun-toting crazies, nobody thought Ted mattered enough to shoot.
What a shame, because before he finally died, Ted Kennedy managed to screw up everything he touched. It was bad enough he only got into Harvard because his smarter brothers went there, and their bootlegger father was rich. And everybody knows Ted Kennedy let a young lady die after he crashed a car off a bridge and left her to drown.
He also stuck up for the Commies and smeared guys who were a hundred times smarter and better than him, like that Bork and Clarence Thomas.
Imagine a guy who had to cheat his way through law school getting to decide who sits on the Supreme Court, and even calling one of them a pervert and another one a racist!?
But that’s not the worst of it. Nope, it is all the idiots who kept electing Ted Kennedy time and time again.
I love America, but it’s Americans I can’t stand. And that’s one reason why. How stupid do you have to be to keep voting for this fat, drunk, overrated commie blowhard just because of his famous last name?
I hear though that the news ratings are in the tank with all this Kennedy news, and the only person whose show is getting more watchers is… Glenn Beck! Ha Ha!
It’s enough to make me wish a bunch of stupid hippies would boycott ME!!

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  1. Quality work, Ed. Lest we forget, when the liberal sissies start whining about our TRUE comments about Teddy, rake the web and find all the comments by hateful leftists when Reagan died.

  2. Finally the truth about the fat pig, may he rot in hell. To bad MSM couldn't find it in their bleeding deluded hearts to think of Mary Jo and her family for one iota of a second. Thanks for being the voice of reason.

  3. Can you write "sour grapes…" Ed? I know you can. Here's some even better news; when it comes time to bury you, there will be much less suffering for onlookers because there won't be many. That will be, of course, because Americans have been too stupid to recognize your greatness.

  4. Every time I argued with someone who was against term limits I would mention Ted Kennedy. That usually brought the disagreement to a screeching halt.

  5. Most writers have the essential component of the Kennedy-Chappaquiddick saga wrong.
    Mary Jo Kopechne did NOT drown. She in fact suffocated. The woman perished while trapped in the submerged Oldsmobile sedan while under water in a dark tidal pond. It was long ago figured that Kopechne survived for at least an hour or more after the crash by breathing from an air pocket. No matter how it’s sliced, that has to be a tough way to die.
    With a little detective work it has been figured that the real Chappaquiddick story was fundamentally different from the extensive lie promoted by Kennedy himself. Facts strongly suggest that Kopechne disappeared from the party at an earlier time. She’d mentioned to more than one person that cigarette smoke and the stuffy atmosphere at the cottage were making her feel ill. It was figured that Mary Jo Kopechne after making her way outside, found the unlocked Oldsmobile 4-door sedan, laid down across the back seat and fell asleep. There was no conspiracy or plot involved. It was a matter of simple happenstance.
    Later that night, the routinely drunk Teddy Kennedy left the party with another woman, got behind the wheel of the Oldsmobile and aimed the car in the direction of the beach road. Kennedy, with one other person in the front and another laying down on the back seat only made it as far as the narrow Dike Bridge. With his driving skills impaired, Kennedy lost control and drove the car off the bridge and into the Chappaquiddick – Poucha tidal pond.
    Perhaps it was the cold ocean water that helped Kennedy sober up enough to escape along with the mystery woman front seat passenger. It is believed that Kennedy did not know that another person was in that car. Kennedy made it back on foot to some point where he was able to make contact with his political minions. Somehow, the operatives got him over to main island where Kennedy was checked into a motel. Records later showed that numerous phone calls were made back and forth from Kennedy’s room telephone all during the night. He was later seen, in the early morning, having breakfast at motel coffee shop while casually chatting with other motel guests.
    Meanwhile, local police had discovered in the tidal pond, the now partially exposed Oldsmobile sedan. Upon closer examination, the body of young woman was found in a corner area near the rear window. Artificial respiration was carried out, but Mary Jo Kopechne could not be revived. Noticed at the time, was that no water could found in the woman’s lungs. Early on, it was figured that Kopechne had not drowned but instead had suffocated.
    Kennedy’s later contrived story had him at the risk of his own life “diving repeatedly in an effort to save Miss Kopechne”. At the time, innumerable Massachusetts residents, including me, were outraged. Political stooges had taken depraved actions of the drunk miscreant Teddy Kennedy and spun the homicidal debacle into a performance of heroism.
    Despite all, the contemptible Teddy Kennedy was elected again and again to the United States Senate by the people of Massachusetts. To this day, I have been unable to find anybody who ever admits to have voted for Kennedy.
    No doubt, the entire federal election system along with congress and senate needs a good strong enema. Perhaps with Kennedy’s final flush into the sewer pipe of history, the great cleansing can now commence.

  6. I had thought that this website was devoted to satire as a comedy form. However, the more I read things like this I begin to realize that satire is totally absent. Instead we find a sounding board for some very hateful people. I will check back in a couple more times to see if the tone has changed. If not, you will be removed from my bookmarks without so much as a backward glance.
    Dave the Brummbaer, staunch and active Liberal

  7. Brilliant Ed, truer words never spoken. When I heard that liberal commie bit the big one I was in my car listening to the radio, someone just happened to call in and request Highway to Hell, for a curtain someone.

  8. It's damn hot down heah and I can't see anything!!! And that damn Jack and Bobby keep saying :"Teddy..you screwed up!!!!!"
    Ted in Ring 9
    Q: Where can you find Mary Jo in the yellow pages???
    A: Under Water!!!!

  9. I never liked him. I live in a state where they elect the same idiots over and over again… and our taxes are one of the highest in the Nation. I agree, he was not as smart as his brothers and his Father was a disgrace. Well, he had to meet his Maker (GOD) only a second after death….. and with the skeletons in his closet, and all his liberal votes to destroy, Morality & Our Great Country. He is in a whole heap of TROUBLE. No Catholic Mass or Prayers will help him now…… if he was a true Catholic he wouldn't of voted the way he did in Abortion and etc… Such a Mackory to the Church and to GOD.

  10. Eulogy to Tedward: Throughout his wasted life, Senator Kennedy told lie, after lie, after lie, after lie. The anti-self-reliance policies that he supported hurt everyone, and even more so the persons of color that he presumed to champion. As a champion of persons of color, he was a mere poser. For more on this apparent contradiction, refer to the speeches and writings of economics professors: Walter Williams, and Thomas Sowell. He was the antithesis of everything good; and was in so many ways repugnant to the libertarian ideals of the revered Founding Fathers; that to me he was the among the most despicable of the generally despicable class that includes Members of Congress. However, in all sincerity he did motivate me. During his presidential run in the 1970's, I actually registered Democrat so that I could vote AGAINST him in the California primary. Of course, as a rational person, I did not stay a registered Democrat for long. I can generally echo the sentiments of the comments of other Bloggers above, except that the only reason that I do not wish for him to ROT IN HELL is that I do not believe that such a place exists.


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