SKYWALKER RANCH, CA – Lucasfilm Ltd. has announced that the long awaited Blu-ray box set of the entire Star Wars sexilogy will be released in 2011.

George Lucas has always been known for wanting to spice up the Star Wars movies when he decides to have another go around but the decision this time seems a bit absurd. Along with the announcement of the Blu-ray release, comes the news that the voice of Darth Vader will no longer be that of James Earl Jones. Instead Lucas has made the last minute decision to have recent internet sensation, Ted Williams, do all of Vader’s lines.

“We knew that it would be a lot of work to re-record all of Vader’s lines from the original three movies but William’s story touched us all so deeply that we knew we just had to do it,” said Lucas.
There will be an option on the discs to play the movies with the original soundtrack that uses the voice of James Earl Jones but would you really prefer that over the man with the golden voice?
In addition to this change there will also be “more than 30 hours of extensive special features including never-before-seen deleted and alternate scenes.”
Scenes like:
— When Yoda goes number 2 in the bushes right as Luke drops all of his hovering stones into the swamp water during his Jedi training on Dagobah.
— A super hot make out scene between Luke and Leia on Hoth.
— When Darth Vader cuts off Luke’s hand and immediately pulls it back with the force,  just to slap Luke in the face with it and exclaim “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again, I am your father, Damn It!”
— A seventeen and a half minute striptease by sexy aliens in the cantina on Tatooine.
— Numerous scenes depicting the grooming habits of Wookies and Ewoks.
And of course…
A 30 minute shot of Carrie Fisher just sitting around in the outfit that she wore in Jabba’s Palace.

The last three movies which are actually supposed to be the first three of the sexilogy will be condensed entirely onto the deleted scenes disc as the movies should never really have been made to begin with.
The original release date was set for May of this year but it has now been pushed to September to accommodate for the voice over work with Ted Williams. Pre-orders can be made now at Amazon.com and sells for $89.99 plus tax of course.

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  1. Did you know in this release they're removing the 'n' word just like in Huck Finn? Yeah no one will be saying Nerf Herder in movies again.

  2. Just to make your readers aware, in this new release of Star Wars they will be removing the 'n' word just like Huck Finn. No longer will you hear the offensive term 'nerf herder.' The children must be protected from intergalactic racism.

  3. jon holmes is alive and well its ted wialliams notice the resimblance. for get about star wars we have other fish to fry. star whores.


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