GOODBYE, OPTION EIGHT! GOOTAN FAVORITE IS OVER!
Option Eight, the popular television comedy that transfixed generations of viewers, was canceled last week.
If you didn’t hear about it, that’s no surprise.
That’s because Option Eight was broadcast only on Gootan, the planet inhabited by the alien race also known as the Gootans.
“It was our Seinfeld,” said Mar-8-Mar, a prominent Gootan media critic who publishes under the human name Trevor Kanamit. “It was our Mary Tyler Moore. Our East Enders. There is no way to overestimate how the show affected generations of Gootans.”
ENTERTAINING GOOTANS SINCE A7180A91!
The show, which debuted in the year A7180a91 — which corresponds to our 1971 on earth — followed the adventures (and more often the misadventures) of a family headed by an intolerant patriarch who clashed often with his free-thinking daughter, a “patlamica” (which we would call a musician). The two of them frequently traveled together, solving crimes and teaching lessons, and the show unfolded against the backdrop of an unidentified conflict tearing apart the broader Gootan society.
“It was our All in the Family,” said Kanamit. “Our Cosby Show. Our Caroline in the City. Our Veronica’s Closet. Our M*A*S*H.”
“Listen,” said Samton-11-Tarvillia, another prominent Gootan critic who goes by the name Sam Tarvillia, “all that Trevor is going to do is list shows that Option Eight resembled. That’s the extent of his critical ability. If you really want to know what the show’s about, read my Jalnopy about it.”
A JALNOPY IS A BOOK!
A “Jalnopy,” in human terms, is a book.
TWO GREAT EPISODES!
Tarvilla’s Jalnopy, entitled “Target Is The Grass Of Tradition, Hue And Cry, Medicine Man Matchstick Broomstick” — Gootan syntax and vocabulary, far more sophisticated than human syntax and vocabulary, cannot be easily comprehended — provides a complete history of the show, including biographies of all cast members and episode summaries.
The latter section may confuse humans. In the half-century of the show’s existence, there have been only two episodes, each lasting twenty-five earth years.
But Tarvilla’s Jalnopy is skillful in highlighting not only the comic aspects of the show, but its frequent and skillful handling of dramatic content.
“It was our Battlestar Galactica,” said Kanamit. “Our Toma. Our Mr. Merlin. Our Manimal. Our She’s the Sheriff.”
“Is there any show it’s not?” said Tarvilla.
“Our I Love Lucy,” said Kanamit.