“It’s going to revolutionize city planning and design! We will have to abandon our existing cities and start over!” Boasts lead developer Arnold Wilhowsky speaking about the new Tesla OMNI. “Fully electric and gyro stabilized. It is poetry in motion. The carbon footprint of this machine is smaller than a baby’s shoe.”
The testing that Weekly World News was in attendance to witness was indeed breathtaking. While the prototype is only a one person affair at the moment, the design team at Tesla has big aspirations.
“A family sedan version is in the works, and even a public transit model is in the planning stages. We are confident that this design will be changing the world.” says Wilhowsky. “It’s Mr Musk’s magnum opus of an earth shattering idea. Lightning strikes multiple times here at Tesla!”
The technical specifications are impressive, but what really catches the eye are the unique dashboard and controls. Style and grace are the order of the day at Tesla. Weekly World News was allowed to get up close and personal with the amazing interface.
“Everything is at the operators fingertips. AM/FM radio, speedometer, authentic Tesla logo. We pulled out all the stops and loaded this baby up!” Mr Wilhowsky stops preening wildly at this moment and takes a more somber tone, “I am unsure if we are going to be able to make this affordable to the everyday American. Mr Musk is trying to get some sort of government payout so that everyone can get one, but considering how he has been thumbing his nose at many politicians lately…..ugh, makes my job hard sometimes. I don’t wanna move to Texas. I have delicate skin, I’ll end up with such a rash!”
Weekly World News made attempts at getting a short interview with Elon Musk, but it seemed that he was too busy entertaining friends from “out of town.” Any attempts at getting close enough to ask a question of Mr Musk and his unusual entourage was instantly met with a spontaneous headache accompanied by an oddly familiar booming voice in the skull.
“Not today, Mr Dundorfer. We still aren’t thrilled with those pictures you took in Richmond.”